


A Quest for Manliness

by incaseyoufic



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: F/M, Genderbending, M/M, Rule 63
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-18
Updated: 2010-11-18
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:42:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 34,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incaseyoufic/pseuds/incaseyoufic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, Merlin has this problem of speaking spells in his sleep. One morning he wakes up with an interesting problem, and will do ANYTHING to remedy it. Eventual Merthur, which will technilically be het first, THEN slash. Brace yourself for inevitable pronoun confusion. Magical reveal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Bad Morning

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own any characters created by BBC's Merlin.

**So, I'm not really sure how I'm going to use the masculine and feminine pronouns for this fanfiction… in this chapter I keep referring to "him" and "he" when I talk about Merlin, even though… well, you'll see :P**

**I don't own any characters belonging to the BBC take on Merlin. If I did… *sighs happily*.**

Merlin had really screwed himself over this time. Granted, he hadn't meant to in the slightest... he hadn't even been conscious!

Panicking, Merlin flipped page after page of his spell books, desperate for the counter-spell, ANY antidote to his current… condition. The sinking feeling in his gut told him that he wasn't going to find answers anytime soon. In his search for answers he avoided any reflective surfaces. The last thing he wanted to do was to see the results of his damned sleep talking. He would have been thinking "Where the hell is Gaius when you need him?!" But in this situation…

Merlin flipped faster, using magic to speed read the small text on the paper.

The sound of pages flipping masked the sound of Gaius entering the room.

"Merlin, Arthur is looking - Oh dear," the old physician said, stopping dead in his tracks. "Merlin?" Instead of the usual masculine appearance of his ward, he was met with a young woman dressed in Merlin's clothing. Shoulder length, thick hair the same dark shade as Merlin's framed her face, the same deep blue eyes peered hopelessly into his. In Merlin's... transformation, the height had been reduced by about a foot, and his hips and breasts had filled out to resemble a woman's. She could have been his twin sister. Except, instead of her being his sister, she actually WAS Merlin. Apparently.

Merlin felt his face heat up as Gaius stared. He nodded once, stiffly. Due to his changed biology and all the added hormones, his emotions were running rampant.  _'Do not cry!'_

He sensed Gaius coming closer. The fact that Gaius had not laughed yet, or made some witty remark, reminded Merlin of how trusting their relationship was. And of how serious his situation was.

"What did you do?" Gaius asked, eyebrows raised.

Merlin turned fully to Gaius, his shoulders slumping. "I -" he paused, momentarily shocked at how high pitched his voice sounded, "I don't know! I just woke up like this!" The distressed warlock, or rather, witch, could tell that his mentor was struggling not to laugh, or react in any other way than worry. Merlin appreciated how hard he was trying.

"Were you dreaming? You must have said a spell in your sleep, a very powerful one at that," Gaius offered. He joined Merlin in his search for answers, picking up a nearby spell book.

"What I am going to do Gaius? I can't face Arthur like this!" Merlin cried. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself (herself?). His throat was tight. He gave a few quick blinks to keep the building tears from falling.

Gaius sighed. Clearly Merlin was extremely distressed. Hell, any man would be if they woke up as a woman. Unfortunately for Merlin though, the old physician was drawing a blank as to how to remedy the situation. This case, unsurprisingly, was unique. In all his years Gaius had never seen a warlock turn himself into a girl in his sleep. He had known that Merlin was a powerful sleep talker ever since the incident with the mortias flower. Unconsciously, the boy had projected a glowing ball of light from his hand all the way to the location in which Arthur was, in attempt to guide the Prince to the special flower. Unfortunately, sleep talking was not something easily stopped.

"We should get you a change of clothes," Gaius offered lamely.

Merlin looked desperate. "You don't know how to fix-" without looking down, he gesticulated to his now curvy body "- this?"

Gaius sighed again. "In all my years Merlin, I've never seen anything like this," he said.

Merlin pulled up a stool and sat down, burying his face in his hands. "What am I going to do, what I am going to doooo," he mumbled repeatedly. If only he could remember the words he had said to have caused this transformation! He was too distressed even to be impressed that he was powerful enough to change his own gender. He hoped his powers stopped short at changing his gender permanently.

"The Great Dragon may be able to offer some advice." Gaius suggested helpfully.

Merlin sat up straight, grimacing. "He'll never stop laughing."

"But it's worth a try," Gaius prodded. "In the mean time, I'll keep looking through these books."

Sighing, Merlin stood up. He paused for a minute, closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and looked down at himself. He removed his red neckerchief to see himself better. He started shaking his head and pressed his lips tightly together. "Maybe I'm still dreaming," he said.

Gaius chuckled. "You have weird dreams, then."

Merlin glared at Gaius. "Oh shut up," he said, his face flushed. Merlin turned to make his leave. He then noticed that he was still in his normal clothes. Flushing more, he turned to Gaius. "While I'm gone, could you ask Gwen for a change of clothes?"

Gaius nodded. "And we'll have to design an identity for you, and an explanation for your absence."

Merlin frowned, thinking. "I could be really sick in bed, and you could ask that no one see me, and then this me could be the other me's cousin, or something."

They both looked confused at that. Gaius just nodded. "Sounds believable. I think."

Merlin gave a weak smile and made his leave, hoping beyond hope that the wise Great Dragon would be mature about all of this and offer some help instead of laughing in his face.

Unsurprisingly, the Dragon's maturity, however fruitful, was precluded by an intense bout of laughter. The Dragon of course, being as wise as he was, didn't hesitate in believing that the young woman was in fact Merlin. Which made the laughter come even faster than was necessary, in Merlin's opinion. For a good five minutes Merlin waited for the laughter to stop, and then another minute for the echoes of that laughter to stop propagating throughout the cave.

"Are you done?" Merlin said, his teeth ground together in frustration and face red with embarrassment.

"This will amuse me for the centuries that I remain. In all my years of living, I have never seen this kind of mistake," Kilgarrah spoke, his voice rough from laughing. "Your sleeping mind is a curious one!"

Merlin stood there with his torch, glaring.

The Dragon sighed in contentment. He leaned forward to get a closer look at female Merlin. "What will you call yourself whilst in this form?"

Merlin blinked a few times, caught off guard. "I was hoping this wouldn't be permanent enough for naming,"

Another chuckle erupted from the Dragon's throat. "So young and naive, young warlock. Or should I say witch."

Merlin was visibly defeated at the Dragon's statement, which implicated he would be stuck in womanhood for a long time. "There's nothing you can do?"

The Dragon leaned back on the rocks. "Fortunately for you, there is. But, as with all things, it will take some time. And it will be challenging on all fronts."

Merlin almost dropped the torch in excitement. "Please, I'll do anything!"

A momentary silence, punctuated by echoes of Merlin's new voice, filled the cave. "You should not be so quick to utter those words. They mean more than you will ever own up to,"

Merlin blushed. "I just – I don't want to be stuck like this."

Kilgarrah nodded. "That is understandable."

"Very well. You must seek out the sorceress Tenaya. I believe she resides in the Eastern mountains. She has the gift of probing the consciousness down to the deepest recesses, bringing forth memories both on the surface and those long forgotten. You will present yourself to her, and she will probe your mind with her powers of the Old Religion, attempting to resurface the spell used to transform your physique."

Merlin couldn't believe his fortune. It sounded perfect!  _Wait…_  "What's the catch?" asked Merlin, wearily suspicious.

"Ah, not so naïve, are we? The catch," the Dragon said, "is that while you remain under her mental grip, you will become completely vulnerable to the outside world, and to her. Tenaya has, over time, become infamous for trapping those who come to her desperate for recollection. Weak minds are easily ensnared. If the spell you cast has sunk so deep into your memory that Tenaya is able to bury her hook into your mind, you may fall slave to her forever."

"So, I just have to have a strong mind?"

"You must have memories stronger than her hold over you, whilst remaining just enough at her whim so she may recall the spell from your mind. Aiding her attempts to enslave the minds of others are creatures she keeps around her dwelling to which you will also be vulnerable. I suggest taking along some help."

The sound of the quest gave Merlin a headache. He nodded, trying to ignore the feeling of long hair bouncing around his shoulders. "Right," he mumbled. Maybe he could bring Arthur along with him? Merlin smiled ruefully. He hadn't even seen Arthur yet since he had woken up that morning. Butterflies filled his middle as he thought of what the Prince's reaction was going to be like.

Merlin smiled up at the Dragon. "Thanks so much," he said gratefully.

Kilgarrah smiled back. "I am almost saddened to know that your new form will be rectified. I have not had such entertainment in eons," the creature said, beginning to laugh again. "This figure rather suits you!"

Merlin began stomping away, his face a furious blush. His blush deepened as he received a very inappropriate catcall from a passing guard on the way to Gaius's chambers. The drive to redeem back his manhood increased with every step back to the physician.


	2. The Quest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the confusion with the pronouns. I've never written anything where one person has two genders… I'll probably just keep mixing it up where I write "Mel" and "Merlin", and "he" and "she".
> 
> I forgot to mention in the last chapter: This story is set around Season 2 ish, and Gwen and Arthur aren't really an item like in the canon. If they were it would kind of ruin my fanfiction lol. So yeah, specifically for this fanfiction, there is no Arthur/Gwen because it will eventually be Arthur/Mel/Merlin

Merlin couldn't believe it. He had made it back to Gaius's chambers without incident! Well, save for a few of the hallway guards placing inappropriate verbal advances on his new form. But other than that, he was impressed with himself. Smiling to himself, and almost feeling giddy, he entered the physician's chamber.

"Gaius! Going to the dragon was a great idea! I have the soluuuu - ah…" Merlin stopped dead in his tracks just after the entrance way, his new eyes opened wide. Gaius looked like he was about to do a face-palm.

Gwen turned to Gaius, her eyebrow raised. "Dragon, Gaius?"

Gaius recovered quickly. "I have no idea what she's talking about," he said. As an afterthought he added that he would never get over the fact that he had just referred to Merlin as "she".

Gwen raised both her eyebrows at Gaius, looked at female-Merlin, and lowered them. She smiled and took a few steps forward. "Hi there, my name's Guinevere. My friends call me Gwen," she said.

Merlin had an odd sense of déjà vu. He bridged the gap between them and cleared his throat. "Um hi, my name is-" Merlin paused at that. The Dragon had brought up a good point… what was his new temporary name going to be? Gwen was looking at him funny; he was taking too long to answer. "My name is… Mel," he said. Not bad on the spot! He thought to himself. At least Gaius looked impressed.

"Sorry for the surprise visit, I was just curious as to why Gaius needed one of my dresses," Gwen said, smiling at Gaius, who Merlin just now noticed was holding a simple yellow and lavender gown in his arms. He tried not to grimace openly at the thought of wearing it.

"As I've told you my dear, it is for Merlin's cousin, who's visit truly is a surprise," Gaius said, taking a step forward to join the two females.

Gwen raised an eyebrow at Mel. "Ah. Forgive me but, why are you wearing Merlin's clothing?"

Fortunately for all of them, Merlin was on a roll today. He supposed it was a good thing that he was getting better at covering up his magical mistakes. He gave a small chuckle (again, he tried to suppress reaction to how girly he now sounded). "No no, it's okay. I'm actually pretty clumsy, believe it or not (he ignored the casual eye roll from Gaius in the background), and as soon as I had arrived, I spilt a potion on my clothing, and well, I didn't really bring a change of clothes…do you mind if I borrow this?" He gestured at the garment in Gaius's arms.

Gwen smiled again and shook her head. "Of course not. It happens. I don't have much myself, but please, feel free. Though, Merlin's clothes rather suit you." Gwen paused to look closer at Mel. Merlin thought he saw a glint of suspicion flit through her eyes. "You look very much like Merlin, I must say."

Merlin giggled, perhaps a little nervously. "That's what people say, you know," Damn it Gwen, stop being so observant!

Merlin entered the room fully, nonetheless feeling pretty good about the way things were turning out. The pressing matter of getting on with his quest was nagging at his mind though, and the sooner he could get Arthur's help, the better.

Gwen gave a small sigh. "Well, it was nice meeting you Mel, but I've got to get to my duties. I hope Merlin feels better soon," she said, turning to Gaius.

Mel raised an eyebrow at Gaius, silently asking what excuse he had given to Gwen about his inadvertent absence.

Gaius nodded gravely. "He has fallen ill, but I will do all that I can my dear. Nothing one of my antidotes can't cure, I'm sure," he said, consoling her. "Rest assured, we won't be needing another morteas flower," he added, patting Gwen's shoulder. Gwen smiled, and Mel pretended to feign confusion at the reference.

"It was nice meeting you too, Gwen," Mel said as his friend made her leave.

Gwen gave a small wink to Mel and exited the room. Merlin's paranoia set off an alarm in his head: What was the wink for? Surely she didn't suspect anything… Merlin thought he and Gaius had done a good job of fabricating the identity for Mel. The urgency to begin his quest pressed ever more on his mind. He and Gaius both knew how terrible he was at lying, even though he had been getting better, and so the longer he was in this form, the more slippery the slope would become.

Gaius cleared his throat. Merlin turned back to him. "You'd better get changed," the physician said, barely concealing a laugh.

Merlin grimaced at the dress. It wasn't that it was ugly or anything, but… he did have some dignity left. Of all the things that had gone wrong with his magic, the consequence of wearing women's clothing would definitely remind him that this mishap would be the worst.

"You can't go around in your old clothes! Our set up will fall to waste. Have some common sense, Merlin. Or should I say Mel," Gaius said, smirking.

Mel sighed and took the garment. "I know I know, don't get your knickers in a twist.".

Gaius shooed her into Merlin's room and shut the door. "Tell me what the Dragon said. I trust he was helpful?"

Mel's voice was muffled as she fumbled with the dress from behind the door. "Surprisingly, yeah. I have to get my mind probed by the sorceress Tenaya so that she can make me remember what I said to have caused… this," he glared down at his unusually voluptuous chest.

From the other side of the door, Gaius was silent. Gaius's eyebrows were drawn down in a fashion that clearly communicated how horrible the plan sounded to him.

"What?" Mel said from behind the door. "It's the only plan I've got! I don't want to be a girl for the rest of my life, Gaius!"

"The Dragon warned you of the legend surrounding this sorceress? How she ensnares the mind of all who come to her?"

"He said only the weak minded are caught under her grasp," Merlin said. "And I'm going to try and get Arthur to help me. Apparently she commands magical creatures to distract her victims," The plan certainly sounded worse when he said it out loud... "God, I can't get this stupid thing on," he mumbled.

"And besides, it's not even a memory is it? If you never had the opportunity to know the spell you said, the memory won't have formed in the first place," came the physician's voice.

Merlin froze. He hadn't thought of that. "Still though, I did say it… and it was said during sleep, so it must be buried somewhere in my subconscious… it'll come to me," he said, only half believing the last part.

He heard Gaius sigh from behind the door. "Are you done yet? Do you need help?"

Merlin opened the door, still struggling with the gown. "I think there's something caught at the back," he said. He never could have imagined that a simple gown could be so damned complicated. Gaius came to help, finding the snagged cloth at Mel's lower back.

"Merlin!"

That was all the warning Merlin and Gaius received before Arthur barged his way onto the scene.

"Where is that lazy arse? It's nearly afternoon!" Arthur scanned the room before resting his sight on Gaius and Mel. His eyebrows raised and he pursed his lips at the suggestive scene of what looked like Gaius attempting to fix a young woman's dress.

"Gaius, you really should do those things in private," Arthur said, smirking a tad.

A furious blush rose to Mel's face and she stepped away from Gaius. Quietly, Merlin whispered a spell to get the robe to fix itself. He couldn't believe he couldn't manage to fit himself into a simple gown when he had dressed Arthur countless times.

"I assure you sire, that is quite the wrong reading," Gaius said. Quickly, he shut the door to Merlin's room.

Arthur met Mel's eyes and received a look of indifference. In fact, the look was eerily similar to how Merlin looked at him often… Arthur quirked an eyebrow at the girl. He was suddenly strangely attracted to her. "And who have we here?" Arthur asked, strolling up to the Gaius and Mel.

Now's my chance, Merlin thought to himself. He'd decided as soon as he'd left the Dragon's cave that, for Arthur's help, he was going to have be very nice to him. However much it hurt him inside. The undeserving prat…

Taking a small breath in, Merlin forced himself to smile sweetly and take full advantage of his new womanly physique. The positive feedback he'd received on his way back to Gaius fuelled his confidence. Awkwardly, he gave his first ever curtsey. He made a mental note to find suitable pants as soon as possible…

"I'm Mel, my Lord, Merlin's cousin," Mel said, holding the blue gaze of the Prince. He tried to ignore Gaius's amused expression from his peripherals. He would later have to somehow erase the old man's memory of this whole situation…

Arthur gave a crooked smile and a small bow. "The pleasure's all mine," he said politely.

Merlin tried to ignore the strange fluttering feeling in his gut he'd gotten from the smile. And how gorgeous his eyes were… and his full, pink lips. O-okay, he needed to see Tenaya now.

"Excuse me," Arthur said, still smiling politely. He moved around Mel and raised his fist against the door to Merlin's room. "Merlin! Get out here you lazy you arse!"

Gaius raised his hands up to gesture for silence. "Sire, Merlin is sick in bed, and is quite unfitting for work and visitors. The illness is quite contagious,"

Arthur stopped knocking and rolled his eyes. "Figures," he said, crossing his arms.

Merlin had known the Prince long enough to tell that Arthur was genuinely concerned for his well-being, even if he acted differently. He smiled to himself.

Arthur looked expectantly at Gaius. "Well?"

Gaius frowned, sharing a glance with Mel.

"Is he going to be alright?" He asked, trying to hide his concern for his friend under a mask of authority.

"Ah. In time, sire, in time. He has a rather nasty flu, and to prevent its spread, he'll have to remain in his room at all times," Gaius replied.

Arthur sighed. "Well he'd better get well fast. I haven't got an army of dispensable servants waiting on me. I have things to do."

"Sire, I could fill in for Merlin, if you would have me," Mel spoke. Merlin's heart was hammering fast in his chest; something told him that serving Arthur in his current form was going to be a lot different from his usual routine.

Arthur appeared to consider the idea for a moment. "I thought the purpose for your visit was to see to your sick cousin?"

"Oh, well, I just learned of his sickness when I arrived. I trust Gaius that his sickness is contagious, and so I don't want to catch it and spread it to my village back home," Merlin was really impressed with his creative skills, lately. "Besides, I'm probably a lot more competent that my cousin is," she added, rolling her eyes for good measure. It was strange, one upping yourself with yourself…

Arthur nodded and clapped his hands together. "Alright. Gaius, mind if I take her off your hands?"

Gaius gave a small, knowing smile to Mel. Cunning, he thought. I hope he knows what he's doing. "I see no problem with that, sire."

Mel smiled at the physician. Now if only Merlin could think of a way to trick Arthur into coming with him on his quest… without discovering that he had magic… and that "Mel" was really Merlin. Merlin's momentary happiness faded. This was going to be impossible without revealing something.

"You know, you look like Merlin's twin, much less than a cousin," said Arthur to Mel as they walked down the hallway.

"Yeah, I hear that a lot," Mel said dully. Goddamnit! Merlin kept reminding himself that one, he was supposed to act like a female, and that two, he was never supposed to have interacted with the Prince before, so he had to stop infusing his sentences with so much sarcasm.

"How long are you in Camelot?" Arthur asked casually. At a fork in the corridor he began gesturing left, but Mel seemed to know the way and walked on ahead. He quirked an eyebrow.

Merlin mentally cursed himself at the small slip up. Thankfully, he knew Arthur wouldn't really think anything of it. He was too dim. "Er, I'm not too sure. Not too long, I suppose,"

Arthur nodded. "And where's home for you?"

Without thinking, Mel replied with "Ealdor." Damnit… I should have said somewhere different.

Arthur frowned. "I don't remember seeing you. I was there not too long ago,"

"Oh, um,"

"Ah, this is us," Arthur said, cutting Mel off. He entered his chambers and walked to his desk. "Sorry, keep going," he said, though somewhat distracted now by the papers on his desk.

"I mean, I heard about the fight against Kanan's men, but I was – away," Mel said. "I heard you were very brave," she added. I am such a suck up, Merlin thought.

The grin from Arthur was almost worth it, though.

What is wrong with me.

"I'm glad I could help." Arthur looked down at the documents, sorting through them.

Mel stood there awkwardly, trying not to act too Merlin-ish, both in gender and mannerisms.

"Sire, is there anything that I can do for you?"

Merlin felt his face burn as Arthur quickly scanned his feminine body.

"Not at the moment, no," The prince replied.

"Oh, it's just that, back there you implied that you had lots of things to get to," Merlin mentally cursed himself, immediately regretting what he had said. He was being much too casual with the Prince of Camelot for someone who had supposedly just met him.

Luckily, Arthur seemed to be in a good mood and grinned, pointing a finger at Mel. "You know, that's exactly what Merlin would have said. You've got the sarcasm perfect, too. You really are related!"

Mel panicked. "I'm sorry sire, I shouldn't have said anything, your business isn't-"

Arthur chuckled. "It's okay, Mel. I've taken a liking to you."

He's so much nicer to females. Figures, Merlin thought. The crazy thought to remain as a woman and not even risk the danger of Tenaya had a momentary existence in his mind. But then, Merlin wasn't that desperate. The fact that it had taken his boy self a long time for Arthur to admit out loud that he liked him, compared to less than hour for his girl form, confirmed that Arthur was definitely keen on his new features.

Which… for some strange reason… made Merlin feel strangely disappointed. He banished the feeling from his mind. Now was not the time.

Seeing that Arthur was occupied with his papers, Mel walked over to the window. Her eyes didn't see the knights preparing to begin a training session. Merlin's mind was too occupied with his troubles. How was he going to accomplish his quest without Arthur discovering the truth to both his secrets? There was no way Arthur wouldn't find out that Mel and Merlin were one in the same when Merlin walked out of Tenaya's cave, and Mel was nowhere to be seen. And then the explanation for that would demand Merlin to divulge his fatal secret. He couldn't risk blaming a fictitious sorcerer of his own creation; that would birth too much trouble. But… if Merlin did show Arthur that he was a sorcerer… he could have him killed. Well, King Uther would definitely order the duty upon his son, even if the demand for execution wasn't mutual. Merlin had witnessed over the time he'd known Arthur how much the Prince had changed his morals.

Merlin sighed quietly. He would have to trick Arthur to aid Mel on her quest, and then while they were alone, Merlin would have to tell Arthur the truth. About everything. At least then he could delay his death warrant until they made it back to Camelot, providing that Arthur had the kind heart Merlin expected.


	3. The Proposal

"Mel," said Arthur from his desk, "I trust you know how to dress my armour?"

"Yes, sire," Merlin answered absently. His eyes widened and he shook himself out of his thoughts. He cleared his throat and turned, recovering his attitude and bowed. "Yes, I can dress you, sire," he said, sounding less like his normal self, forcing politeness. He gave a sweet smile for good measure.

Arthur nodded and gestured to the window. "I doubt you didn't notice that my men are preparing for a training session. I'm to go and lead them in it." He rose from the desk and looked expectantly at Mel.

Mel smiled and walked over to the table with Arthur's armour and chose the first piece. Merlin immediately noticed that his feminine body was weaker than his masculine body. Ah well, it was to be expected.

Arthur turned his head to look at Mel behind him, almost reading his thoughts. "It's not too heavy?" He said, somewhat jokingly.

Mel shook her head. "I'm stronger than I look," she replied. She began dressing Arthur's armour, like the countless times Merlin had done it before. So why did he feel so… nervous this time? And was it just him, or was Arthur standing a little bit closer to him than normal? Merlin didn't think it was possible, but somehow his new nose was noticing Arthur's scent more than his normal nose… did he always smell that good? Merlin had the sudden urge to bury his face in Arthur's short blonde hair. He silently shook himself. Stupid girly hormones…

Arthur shook his head in amusement. "Merlin tells me that all the time. I have yet to see proof."

"Strength doesn't just lie in the muscle, it lies in the heart as well," Mel spoke, over the clicks and snaps of the armour falling into place.

Arthur made an "mm" sound, nodding. The sounds of clicking stopped. He looked down. "All done? That was fast. Have you done this before?"

Mel shrugged. "Back home, yeah,"

Arthur narrowed his eyes slightly as he took the sword Mel was currently offering him. "A lot of men back home need their armour dressed?"

 _Is he jealous?_  "Sure," Mel answered simply. He couldn't help that he was flattered.

Arthur seemed to accept her answer without betraying anymore of his feelings. Why did he care if some cousin of Merlin's had been close to other men? It wasn't his business.

"Thank you Mel, that'll be all," Arthur said somewhat shortly as he put on his leather gloves.

 _He never says thank you to me!_ Mel thought. She suppressed the urge to smile like an idiot and gave a small bow instead. "Train hard," she said.

"Always do," the Prince said as he left the room, leaving behind a slightly tense atmosphere.

Mel sighed. She stood there for a moment, trying to banish the strange feelings that were cropping up. She could  _not_  like Arthur. It was only the new biology affecting his mind. Merlin was suddenly desperate to return to his normal self to get rid of all these new feelings. It wasn't just the new feelings for Arthur, either. It was the stupid long hair that kept getting in his face, the way the men in the castle took more notice of his new body, the way the gown's cloth irritated his womanly chest, all of the heightened emotions, the sense of vulnerability…

The biggest change of all though, of course, was the absence of a certain male body part. He had not gone to relieve himself yet out of shear embarrassment, but Merlin knew he would have to eventually. And he would eventually have to bathe, too.

Merlin groaned aloud, putting his face in his hands and rubbing his temples.  _Why_  did he have to talk in his sleep? Why couldn't he just remember what the hell he had said? He usually remembered all of his dreams! But for some reason, this time, when it was a critical time to remember, he couldn't.

"Mel?"

Maybe a sorcerer from the village had come into his room at night and had cursed him to become a female? Merlin tried to think of his enemies, and their motives… what would they have accomplished? Merlin snorted. Utter humiliation for him, that's what.

"Mel, what's wrong?"

Merlin jumped, feeling a hand touching his shoulder. He uncovered his eyes to see Gwen beside him. "Oh! Hey Gwen, sorry, what?"

Gwen didn't dismiss the fact that, for other than the cadence of the voice, those words could have been spoken by Merlin. She'd known the guy for too long not to know the unique tone and mannerisms that described him. Either Mel was in fact his twin sister, or something was up.

"I was just wondering if you're okay. You seem distressed," Gwen said. She removed her hand from the other girl's shoulder.

Mel's eyes shifted to the left, and then back to Gwen. "Um, no, nothing's wrong. Couldn't be better," she said, giving a cheeky smile.

Gwen's eyelids fell. "Does being bad at lying run in the family?"

Instead of answering Gwen, Merlin took a good look at her. All of this lying was really taking a huge toll on him. He was tired of it. The weight of both of his secrets was exhausting him. Surely he could trust Gwen with at least the truth about Mel's true identity. He didn't  _have_  to tell her it had been Merlin who'd caused the transformation. Maybe he could just say it had been something in one of Gaius's potions…She had always been a good friend… She wouldn't tell, right? Merlin was going for it. He  _had_  to tell someone. Well, someone other than Gaius and the Dragon. Also, if he told her, he wouldn't have to act all… girly around his friend. He could act like himself.

Mel slumped her shoulders and sighed. "Gwen, I have something to tell you,"

Gwen surprised Merlin by laughing. "Oh Merlin, I know it's you!"

Merlin straightened, shocked. "What? How?"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Oh come on, you've never spoken of any family members except for your Mother, and then all of a sudden your nearly identical cousin shows up, in your clothing I might add, and Merlin is sick in bed and can't be seen by anyone? It's not that difficult to figure out!"

"Well then I guess Arthur is denser than I thought," Merlin said, smirking a bit. "You're too smart, Gwen."

Gwen laughed again. "He is a bit dense, yes. And thank you."

"I suppose you're wondering how this happened," Merlin said, taking in each hand a lock if long, black hair and tugging it.

"I'm a bit curious, yes," Gwen replied.

Now was the tricky part. He still hadn't gotten out of lying, but this lie was necessary to his survival. He did trust Gwen, but he still had some intelligence remaining. "Well, that bit about me being clumsy and spilling a potion of Gaius's was true… it just had extremely undesirable effects," Mel said, hoping to hope Gwen would believe it.

Gwen twisted her lips to one side in a disbelieving expression. "Why on earth would Gaius have made a potion with such effects?"

"Believe me, I asked him plenty. I think if it was ingested orally, as it was designed for, the effects would have been different," Merlin lied, again internally amazed at his lying skills lately.

"Nice try. I won't ask you to tell me what really happened, I appreciate you coming out to me about this much," Gwen said, gesturing to Merlin's changed physique.

Mel opened her mouth to attempt to convince Gwen that what she had said was true, but thought against pushing her good luck and instead just smiled, letting her tiredness about it all show through. "Thanks Gwen," she said. A sudden urge to hug Gwen came across Merlin and so he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around his friend.

Startled, Gwen held her arms to the side. After a moment, she gave the hug back, smiling. "Merlin, I didn't know you were so sentimental!"

"It's all these hormones," Mel mumbled into Gwen's shoulder.

"I've got to back to Gaius," Merlin said suddenly, breaking from the hug. He had to now figure out how to trick Arthur into coming with him to seek Tenaya. Maybe Gaius had thought of something in his absence…

Gwen nodded. "Well, if there's anything you need… help with, you can come to me," the maid offered. "I've got lots of experience, you know, being a girl."

"Right," Mel said, nodding. "Thanks. I'm working on fixing it first, though. I'm going to need Arthur's help. I need to figure out how to persuade him…"

Gwen smirked and gave a laugh. "Oh, I don't think that'll be hard," she said.

Merlin looked confused.

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Now who's being dense? It's obvious Arthur's taking quite the liking to you, Mel," she said, putting emphasis on Merlin's new name.

Merlin felt a blush warming his cheeks and unconsciously fidgeted with a sleeve of the gown. "Well, if he knew who I really was-"

"Give him more credit than that, Merlin," Gwen interrupted sternly.

Merlin had a flashback to the words his Mother had spoken back in Ealdor then, at the fight against Kanan.  _Give him more credit than that, he likes you_.

"Thanks. Well, I'll see you later," Merlin said, walking away. "And, um, don't tell anyone."

"Of course," Gwen said, smiling. "Good luck!" she called after him.

Gaius looked up at Mel as she entered and looked confused. "Can I help you miss?"

Mel's eyebrows rose. "Gaius, it's me, Merlin?"

Gaius blanched, and then memory dawned in his eyes. "Merlin! I almost forgot. So surreal," he said.

"Easy for you to forget, isn't it? Me, I'm stuck like this," Mel mumbled, pulling up a stool and sitting very unladylike.

"Have you managed to persuade Arthur's help on your quest?" Gaius asked, moving closer to his ward.

"Not yet. I haven't even brought it up," Mel replied dejectedly.

"Merlin, time is running out for you! I thought you didn't want to remain in this form? You don't do you?"

Mel blanched. "Of course not! I just haven't had much time to ask him! He – we – had a conversation about – things – and then I dressed him in his armour for his usual training session, and then, I left."

"Oh, and Gwen knows," she added when Gaius had said nothing in reply.

Gaius looked stern. "Merlin, you have to be careful here -"

"She practically figured it out for herself! I knew from the moment she saw me that it wasn't going to work with her. She's too smart. I told her that your potion I supposedly spilt on myself made this happen, but she didn't believe me. She didn't make me tell her the real reason, though, bless her," Mel explained.

Gaius nodded. "She is very observant."

Mel sighed and rose from the stool. "I don't care if all women in this castle wear dresses, I'm changing into my pants," she said grumpily.

"And make others suspect you even more? Merlin, you must stay in women's clothing,"

Mel glared at the old man. "First of all, that is the strangest advice you have  _ever_  given me. Second, I'm damned uncomfortable in this!"

Gaius shook his head. "Your comfort in the long term is more important than in the short term. The sooner you start on this quest with Arthur the better,"

"Wait, what are you saying?"

Gaius was now the one who looked uncomfortable.

Mel clenched her fists. "Are you saying that I should remain in this dress to… to  _seduce_  Arthur to come with me?" A furious blush rose to Mel's cheeks as he imagined what seducing Arthur might demand of him, mentally and physically. He had barely had any experience with women in the first place. But, for some reason, he felt like… with Arthur, it wouldn't be so difficult…

Gaius raised his hands up somewhat helplessly. "I wouldn't put it like that…"

"No, that's what you meant isn't it! You want me to appear all vulnerable and helpless to Arthur to gain his help! That's so wrong! On so many levels!"  _Why is my voice so high pitched!_

"Well what other ideas do you have right now?"

Mel looked helpless. "I don't know! And what reason would I give him to come with me after I've compelled him to agree to helping?" Mel clasped her hands together and mimicked giving puppy eyes to an imaginary Arthur. "Oh, dear Prince Arthur, would you please come with me to seek out a sorceress who may have the power to transform me back to who I truly am? Who by the way happens to me your manservant, who is also an apparently unskilled magician?" Mel dropped the act and glared at Gaius. "No."

Gaius looked near laughing. "That was perfect!"

Mel threw a book at Gaius, who ducked out of the way just in time.

Sitting back down, Mel sighed. She absently looked over at the door to her room.  _I wish this was all just a sickness-induced nightmare, and that I really was in there deathly ill…_

Suddenly a light bulb turned on into Merlin's mind.  _Genius!_

"Gaius! I've got it!" he exclaimed.

"Indulge me," the physician said.

"Okay, so, Merlin is supposed to be deathly ill in my room, or his room, right? And I'm supposedly his concerned cousin visiting, right? Well what if you need an antidote from the Eastern mountains, and to obtain it would be dangerous, but we need it for my – Merlin's – recovery and without it he'll die?" Mel said, getting more excited with every word.

Gaius quirked an eyebrow and looked pleased. "Sounds like Arthur's quest for the morteas flower. No doubt he'll think of it, too. And we already know he'll do anything for your – Merlin's – health. Merlin, I'm impressed," Gaius said, smiling.

"He said he'd do anything for my health?" Mel asked, sounding a little breathless despite herself.

"The quest for the morteas flower was very dangerous, I would have thought that was obvious," Gaius said.

Merlin suddenly felt extremely happy.

"Are you feeling alright?" Gaius asked.

"More than alright," Mel said quietly, beaming.

Gaius gave her a knowing smile. "I suggest you go and seek Arthur and tell him of this quest for Merlin's health as soon as possible," he said.

Mel nodded. "Right, he should be finished his training session right about now," she said as she got up from the stool.

A warm feeling in Mel's gut spread at the thought of how sweaty Arthur always was after his hard training sessions. And he would have to take off his armour. Oh God, thought Mel. Yes, the sooner they embarked on this quest, the better.

Before Merlin did anything though, he needed to confront his embarrassment and relieve himself. He'd decided earlier that he was just going to sit down and get it over with and not look at  _anything_.

Needless to say, it had been Merlin's fastest bathroom break in history.

The success of it, and the feeling of relief, fuelled Merlin's confidence in himself that he could accomplish the daunting tasks that lay ahead. Primarily asking Arthur for help to cure his alter ego that was supposedly lying sick in his room, not getting his mind stolen by a powerful sorceress, and most importantly…

Removing Arthur's armour without jumping the man.


	4. Embarrassment

Of course, Merlin had always admired how fit the man was. Everyone could appreciate it. But Mel had other thoughts… unwanted ones, as far as Merlin was concerned. Her piercing blue eyes found the Prince amid the slightly out of breath Knights of Camelot. Usually, Merlin looked on with a slight boredom mixed with admiration of how strong Camelot's fighting force was (even if enemies of magic were constantly thinning its ranks), mixed with the desire to procrastinate seeing to Arthur's undressing.

Merlin didn't have time to think anything really, which made no difference, as he really couldn't think (for some reason, his brain had turned to mush at the sight of Arthur), because the Prince was soon summoning him.

"Ah, Mel, good," Arthur said, approaching his servant girl. "Now, after a training session, Merlin usually-"

He was cut off by a catcall aimed in their direction. Arthur pursed his lips and turned to glare at the knights behind him. Merlin fought the urge to run for it.

"Who did that?" Arthur demanded. His knights stared guiltily back at him, some of them shifting their glances to a fellow in the middle. Arthur's eyes narrowed. "Knights of Camelot are expected to show respect at  _all_ times. If you're not capable of that, you are disrespecting Camelot." The Knights shifted uncomfortably. Some mumbled "Sorry, M'Lord."

"Really, sire, that's not necessary," Mel mumbled from beside him. Her lips twitched at the corners, a smile threatening to burst forth. Merlin was going to have a hard time calling Arthur a "prat" after this was over if he continued to be so darned nice.  _It's only because I look like a girl_ , he thought somewhat sadly.

"Don't be ridiculous," Arthur said. "Now, as I was saying, after a session, I am to have my –"

"Boots cleaned, armour polished, and" – Merlin's heart skipped a beat – "bath prepared."

Arthur blinked a few times.

 _Why can't I keep my mouth shut!_  Merlin scolded himself. He felt himself reddening under Arthur's look of confusion. Really, it was cute how dense the Future King of Camelot could be sometimes.  _I did_ not _just think Arthur is cute…_

"I mean, I just thought, that's how it usually, um, I didn't mean to interrupt you-" Mel stuttered. Merlin was starting to get really annoyed at how little control he seemed to have around Arthur recently.

Arthur grinned. "It's alright! Calm down. You're obviously a far more competent servant than your cousin, that's all," he said. He began to lead her away from the training grounds and back to the castle.

"Yes, well, I've served a few people before, nothing too long term," Mel replied, relieved that she had averted another possibly stupid mistake.

"What were your masters like?" Arthur asked as they walked.

Mel smirked. "Oh, they were all prats. Didn't appreciate me at  _all_. Always thought they were better than me. You know, overwhelmingly arrogant," she answered. Merlin was having a field day.

Arthur shook his head and sighed. "Some people can be so rude. Well, I appreciate you," he said, giving the girl a crooked smile.

Mel's face heated up for what seemed like the millionth time that day.

Arthur laughed. "You're blushing!"

"And you're flirting with me," Mel accused bluntly. Arthur's blush mirrored his own. "And now  _you're_  blushing!" They had now entered the castle, blind to those around them with their light banter. Merlin felt on familiar ground; bickering with Arthur was something he was  _very_  used to. Merlin knew he couldn't make  _too_  much fun of the Prince though; he would soon be revealing his true identity. He hoped.

"I am not!" Arthur proclaimed, his face tomato red.

" _Yes_  you are!"

Gwen passed them in the hallway, carrying a few garments in her arms. She smiled at the scene of a red-faced Arthur bickering with Mel. Well, some things never change, she thought.

"Arthur, Mel," she greeted, nodding. She exchanged a secretive smile with Mel.

"Gwen, this girl is insufferable!" Arthur exclaimed at his friend, his tone light-hearted.

Mel closed her eyes and held her chin high. "I do my best!"

Gwen laughed. "Sounds like she's truly Merlin's cousin," she said from down the hall.

"Wait, Gwen, what is that supposed to mean!" Mel called after the other girl.

"Good girl, Gwen," Arthur said, laughter in his voice.

"Most definitely," agreed Mel.

They entered Arthur's chambers. Things suddenly got awkward. Merlin usually prepared Arthur's bath before anything else, and then undressed the Prince, and then while the Prince bathed, he would start on the armour and boots. Preparing a bath and undressing the man seemed very inappropriate now.

That didn't mean Merlin didn't want to commit to the tasks. Oh no, now he actually  _wanted_  to attend to Arthur. If Mel wasn't a good replacement for Merlin, then Arthur may dismiss her and then she wouldn't have a chance to ask him to accompany her on her quest… but, by doing the tasks, if Mel screwed anything up, if he couldn't control all of the new hormones, then she may also be dismissed.

Arthur cleared his throat. "So, right, the bath," he said, his voice cracking. He cleared his throat again.

Mel glanced at the empty wooden tub to the right of them. The tension in the room was almost too thick for Merlin to think properly.

"You can fill up the tub, and I'll undress," Arthur said a little too quickly. He disappeared behind his privacy screen.

Merlin ignored the small feeling of disappointment. If he was honest with himself, he had memorized every inch of Arthur's topless form. He had undressed him countless times. All that time almost seemed wasted. Merlin snorted quietly. What a thought.

With slightly trembling hands, Mel began to see to filling Arthur's bath with nearby water. Crouching down at the tub, Merlin whispered a quiet spell to heat the water, only realizing then that he had taken for granted his magic would still work in that form. The water began to steam. She dipped a finger in it to test the temperature. Perfect. Somehow Arthur never questioned when he sank into a perfectly warmed bath when there were no visible means of natural heating beneath the tub.

Arthur came out from behind the screen, his eyes not meeting Mel's. He raised an eyebrow at the steaming bath, but said nothing. Mel certainly knew what she was doing; she had all of Merlin's perks, including knowing how to heat a bath right, and more, obvious bonuses.

Mel stepped away from the tub, fidgeting with her hair and not looking at Arthur. He was going to miss the hair, he admitted silently. He wasn't usually a fidgeter, but then, he'd never really been this nervous. Out of his peripherals he saw Arthur quickly shed his towel and submerge himself below the water. She heard him sigh in content. "You have your cousin's talent at setting the temperature perfectly," Arthur commented.

Mel bit her tongue from saying what other talents she had to please him with. She stared at Arthur's strong shoulders, at his neckline, at his strong arms resting against the rim of the tub. She bit her lip. Suddenly he wished that the steam of the hot water wasn't there; it was blocking his view.

Merlin had to get out of here; the urge to massage the shoulders of the Prince was almost overwhelming. Nothing good would come of it though, if he did… Arthur would just be even more mad at him in the end when he found out Mel's true identity.

"So, how's Merlin? Have you been to see him yet?" Arthur said, his voice sedated sounding. His eyes were closed.

Mel nearly jumped. What had he asked? "Oh! Um, he hasn't recovered much yet, sire," she said, still distracted by the beauty in the tub. Arthur's question served to remind Merlin of the urgency to being his quest, and the plan that he had concocted with Gaius earlier. Now seemed like a good time to ask for Arthur's help; he was so relaxed. "Actually, sire, Gaius has discovered an antidote that may cure him of his illness," she continued.

Eyes still closed, Arthur raised an eyebrow. "Too bad, I quite liked having you around."

The irony of that statement! "Well, sire, it will take a journey to find this antidote. I've offered to go and find it for him, and, I was wondering, um-"

"Spit it out, then," Arthur said.

"Could you escort me in finding the antidote?" Mel asked, optimistic. The fact that Arthur hadn't immediately objected to Mel having offered her help to Gaius was a good sign.

Arthur opened his eyes and rested his head on one shoulder. His eyes met Mel's. "Where is this antidote?"

Merlin almost forgot the thread of the conversation; Arthur's blue eyes were so distracting. Among other parts of his body. Merlin was, for the first time since the transformation, glad of his body and its lack of ability to betray arousal. Well, he wouldn't be this emotional mess in the first place if he wasn't just a bad sleep talker…

"In the Eastern Mountains," Mel replied.

"Any specific place?" Arthur asked, frowning.

Mel suddenly looked past Arthur's eyes and blushed furiously, the reply dead on her lips. The steam had settled, and the water was now clear. Hastily, she turned to look the other way, denying herself, only wanting to look more.

She heard Arthur curse and splash around a bit, fumbling for a towel.

"No, it's alright, don't get out! I'll just – I'm not sure where in the Eastern Mountains," Mel said, breathlessly. That had been more Arthur than Merlin had EVER seen! "I- I'll get back to you!" She said, and then ran out of the room.

Splashing and blushing furiously, Arthur rose from the bath, towel hastily wrapped around his waist. "Wait! Mel!" he called with one arm stretched out and one foot out of the bath. The door had already closed. Well that had been embarrassing. Granted, having a female servant in the room when he was in the bath… something like that was expected, really.

 _I saw Arthur naked, I saw Arthur naked, I saw Arthur NAKED!_ Merlin practically ran down the corridor back to the physician's.  _NAKED!_  Thank god the day was almost over. Somehow Merlin cynically thought that seeing Arthur naked was the grand finale to Day 1 of being a male stuck in a female's body.

Merlin didn't stop running until he was safely back in Gaius's room. The physician was out doing his rounds, and so wasn't there to receive the highly embarrassed Mel.

Well, at least progress towards the quest for his manliness had been established. Arthur had semi agreed to aid Mel in retrieving an antidote for his manservant, which meant that Merlin was one step closer to the sorceress who could set everything right. Arthur had made a good point though, where exactly was this sorceress? The "Eastern Mountains" wasn't good enough for a location. Especially not with how picky Arthur was with directions on quests normally. He needed to know exactly where they were going. Very practical.

Merlin already knew the answer that the Dragon would give him on this matter though – Tenaya was a powerful magical being of the Old Religion, she was his kin, and so when he was close, he would be able to "feel" her. Merlin had no doubt that he was right in assuming this. And besides, he didn't want to aggravate his embarrassment by seeing the Dragon, who would no doubt pluck it out him what had happened in Arthur's chambers. The echoes of laughter would  _never stop_.

So Merlin would just have to rely on instinct, and at the same time reassure Arthur that he knew where he was going when the time came. Maybe because it was Mel and not Merlin doing the guiding, the Prince wouldn't pick at his brains asking for the correct directions, saying " _And how do you_ know _this is the way?"_  until he wanted to strangle him. Maybe.

_NAKED!_

_NO, stop thinking about it!_  Merlin groaned aloud in frustration. That image was never going to erase itself from his mind. Right now, the image of a naked Prince Arthur, all wet in a bathtub of steaming water, wasn't half bad. But Merlin had a suspicion that upon transformation back to his normal self… well, he would  _never_  be able to look Arthur in the eye. Or anywhere at all. Maybe he could resign as his manservant…

Merlin didn't have too much time to think over his life's problems, though, as in the next minute there standing in the doorway was the Prince himself.

Merlin was starting to think he was going to faint from blood loss; the constant blushing around Arthur was going to become a health problem soon. Thought, at least this time, Mel was not alone – the Prince's cheeks were also stained with red.

An awkward silence ensued as Mel and Arthur avoided each other's gazes, each looking at the other but never meeting their eyes. Finally, and with a small jump from Mel, their eyes met.

"I'm sorry for running out –"

Arthur put a hand up, signalling for Mel to be quiet. "You don't have to apologize, it was a natural reaction," Arthur said, even though his pride was a tad hurt at the sight of a woman running out from the sight of his nude body.

"I've just never seen a – um – you know, before," Mel stuttered out. And Merlin thought he never would. Oh well, first time for everything.

Mel's proclamation made Arthur extremely happy. He tried to suppress the goofy smile that was threatening to conquer his face. Instead, he became serious and nodded. "Won't happen again," he said, pursing his lips.

Why did that make Merlin a tad disappointed?

Arthur cleared his throat. "So then, about this quest for Merlin's health," Arthur began. "Where exactly are we going?" He fully entered the room, standing near Mel.

Having Arthur so close to her just after seeing him naked was playing hell with Mel's nerves.  _Focus! For Merlin's health! I mean, my health!_  "Gaius didn't give me a specific location, he just said that the antidote was in the mountain range somewhere. In caves," she said, averting Arthur's gaze.

Arthur frowned, absently looking around the workshop. "Well, I doubt there are many caves in those mountains," he said. He nodded then, with purpose. "I'll have to ask permission from Father, first, of course, and then we can set out first thing in the morning."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat - he had completely forgotten that all quests had to be cleared with the King before departure. Arthur had met resistance from Uther when questing for the morteas flower, and the outcome of that quest had been far more consequential for Merlin; his mortality had been on the line! Arthur had barely escaped Camelot and Merlin had almost died. This time… Mel swallowed, her throat suddenly dry. Merlin wasn't dying this time, he was just… gravely ill. What if permission to seek the antidote was denied? Merlin would be stuck as Mel… permanently! Unless he found another antidote, of course. Hopeless; if the Dragon didn't know of another solution than Tenaya's methods, then there existed no other antidote to Merlin's enchanted gender mishap.

Merlin decided to broach his worries to the Prince. "Sire, what if the King denies permission?"

Arthur smirked. "It wouldn't be the first time, and that's never stopped me before. Not when it really mattered," he replied, his words ringing with confidence.

Mel smiled, happy with the knowledge that Arthur considered Merlin's health a matter important enough to defy the King's rules. Gaius and Gwen had been right; he really did care.

Arthur walked up to the closed door to Merlin's room and knocked softly.

Mel's eyes widened.  _He's going to discover everything!_ For good measure, Mel quickly whispered a spell that doubled the lock on the door.

The threat of catching the flu was barrier enough to Arthur, though. Words were his form of visit. "Merlin, if you're conscious, I want you to know that your cousin and I are going to risk our necks for you. I don't know _how_  many times I've saved your lanky arse. If you're better before we get back, and it was a huge waste, I'll make you clean the boots of all the Knights in Camelot, and then some!" Arthur turned back to Mel, a grin on his face.

Merlin let his appreciation for Arthur's worry leak into his face, giving the Prince a soft and sincere smile. Arthur's lips fell a bit at the seriousness and feeling expressed in Mel's smile. "What?" he asked, his voice hushed.

Mel shook her head slightly, still smiling. "You must care a lot about Merlin."

Arthur's cheeks flushed slightly. He rolled his eyes. "Who, that prat? I just want my manservant back,"

"I won't tell anyone. Your manly pride is safe with me," Mel said, smirking. The irony of the promise nearly made Merlin spill the secrets there.

Arthur kept it quiet that she had already wounded his manly pride by running away from him earlier.

He stepped forward and put both his hands on Mel's shoulders. "Are you sure you want to come on this quest? It'll be dangerous," Arthur said, his eyes meeting Mel's. He couldn't help but notice how intensely blue they were. Were Merlin's eyes that blue? Suddenly he couldn't remember…

The warmth from Arthur's hands radiated down into Mel's shoulders, giving her slight goose bumps. She tried to remember his question. Ah, the quest. "Merlin usually goes on your quests with you right?" Mel said, eyebrows raised, daring him to challenge her.

Arthur nodded from side to side, indicating a "yes and no" answer. He opened his mouth to say something, but Mel cut him off.

"Then I'm coming too," she said.

Arthur couldn't help himself. "But, you're a girl!" He knew it was a stupid reason, but she just looked so… fragile and vulnerable. He felt the need to protect this girl, felt a closeness with her ever since they had met that he couldn't explain.

"I am not!" Mel exclaimed.

The Prince suddenly appeared very confused. "You're not a girl?"

Mel blushed. Merlin did a mental face palm. Right, yes he  _was_  a girl, that was the whole reason for this quest.

"I mean, well, obviously I'm a girl  _physically_ , but that's no reason to not help you. I heard that Lady Morgana and Gwen have helped you out before, you know, back in Ealdor. And besides," Mel continued, knowing that the next thing she said was sure to get Arthur's consent, "I'll be  _much_  better company than Merlin," she said, leaving the interpretation or manufacture of possible innuendos to Arthur.

"You make a good point," Arthur said, his voice dipping. He would be in the forest, alone with her, for at least four days…His eyes drifted to her full lips, and his throat suddenly felt dry.

Mel's eyes widened slightly. Arthur's gaze had landed on her lips, he was leaning in, all body language indicating he was about to kiss her. Merlin's heart was hammering, the pulse suddenly in his throat. He couldn't run away again, that would insult Arthur, but, if they kissed, Arthur would be  _so_ maa-

And then Arthur was kissing him. A light pressure, almost innocent. He pressed his chest close to Merlin's, and Merlin had the strange sensation of a blockage between him and Arthur. He couldn't feel the hardness of Arthur's chest against his, all he felt was the compression of -  _breasts_. Pressure on his chest, pressure on his lips, a warm feeling in  _below_ , and now Arthur was making a small noise in his throat, and it was all wrong, but Merlin wanted  _more_.

Someone cleared their throat from behind them.

They sprung apart, Merlin's heart in his throat, Arthur flushed. Gaius was standing there, his expression betraying nothing. Gaius felt a sense of irony that he was tempted to point out to the Prince; not a day before he had asked Gaius to take his business with Mel to somewhere private.

Mel's eyes met Gaius's like a deer caught in the head lights.

"Sire, I might ask what you are doing, but that is none of my business," the physician remarked. He put down his canteen, still looking questioningly at Mel.  _What is he playing at?_  He wondered.

Arthur sniffed and gave a clearing of his throat. "Yes, well, I was just discussing with Mel the nature of our quest for Merlin's antidote. If Father permits, we will leave tomorrow morning. How long does Merlin have?"

Gaius nodded, still trying to get over the fact that  _Merlin_  had been  _kissing_  Arthur. "With my remedies, his condition has been letting up just slightly. I'd give him another week until his body's resources descend to a worrisome point. The antidote is the only permanent fix, I'm afraid."

Arthur nodded. He worried his lip slightly and glanced to Merlin's door. "I will seek an audience with my Father at once," he said.

"If Uther should need any further persuading, do not hesitate to seek my support in this matter, sire," the physician offered.

"Thank you Gaius," he said. He looked back at Mel, who now had a permanent blush it seemed. "Now, before you ran out, I believe you had agreed to, ah, polish my armour and my boots?"

Mel tried to ignore what felt like a slap back to reality. It was almost ironic, how he still was in a position to do Arthur's chores, yet he had a different identity. "Yes, sire, I'll get to it right away," she replied, resisting the urge to salute.

Arthur smiled. "I'll summon you when we have permission to see Uther," he said. He nodded towards Gaius and then started walking towards the exit, indicating for Mel to follow.

"Ah, Mel, just a moment, I'd like to have a word," Gaius spoke up.

Arthur looked back. "I'll expect you in my chambers in five minutes, Mel," the Prince said, and then he was gone.

"I don't know," Mel immediately said, turning to the physician.

"I haven't even said anything yet," Gaius said, sounding annoyed.

"No, but you're going to ask me what I'm playing at, to which my reply is, I don't know."

Gaius twisted his lips. "Don't be such a smart aleck, Merlin. But in all seriousness, you do realize that when Arthur finds out-"

"I know!" Mel shouted, cutting Gaius off.

Gaius looked nonplussed. "Oh so now you do know?"

Mel threw her hands up. "It's a mess! I don't know what I'm doing, he kissed  _me_ , not the other around! I  _know_  that he'll be furious when he finds out who I am, but - it just happened!"

Gaius paused after Merlin's rant was finished. "Did you like it?" he asked quietly.

Mel gave him a disbelieving look. "I can't believe you just asked that!"

Gaius winced. "Keep your voice down!"

"It's not my fault it gets so bloody high pitched when I'm mad!"

The physician pressed the air down with his hands, gesturing for silence nonetheless. "Alright, I'm sorry, it was none of my business. Merlin, just, promise me you'll both come out of this mission alive and sane."

Mel snorted. "It'll be amazing if we do. I can't promise anything, you know that,"

Gaius nodded, worry suddenly lining his features. "Tenaya can be ruthless. You must remain strong minded. You will come back alive, but not sane, if you don't."

Mel nodded. "I know. I'll do what I can. Thanks," she said.

With a nod to the door, Gaius said: "You'd better be off. You know what Arthur's like when he's impatient."

"Merlin sure does, Mel, not so much," Mel answered.

"Good luck," said the physician. Mel left the room. "You'll need it," Gaius mumbled to himself.


	5. Timelines

Uther appeared to consider his son's request to mission for his manservant's health. "I don't see why you must be the one to embark on this mission," the King said, frowning at his son. He sat in the throne in his usual pose, his left hand supporting his head, his right palm on the armrest.

Arthur glanced to Mel, then back to his Father. "Father, Merlin is my manservant. I must be responsible for him," the Prince said, his voice controlled. "And, from what I've gathered, I am the only one among my Knights who has travelled as far as the Eastern Mountain range. It would make for an efficient quest."

Uther nodded. "It does compliment a King to show compassion for even the lowliest of subjects," the King mumbled to himself, considering his son's argument.

Arthur bit back his retort to that. Mel frowned at Uther with dislike.

"How long will this quest pursue?" Uther asked, leaning forward slightly, his left hand lowering to the throne's armrest.

"About a week, if all goes well," Arthur estimated. In the back of his mind, he had Gaius's warning that Merlin's resources would only last that long before the illness took a grievous toll. It would take them at least four days though, to get to the edge of the Eastern Mountains. They would have to take the very best horses to put speed on their side.

Uther frowned. "Your manservant will not recover on his own? Gaius can do nothing more?"

Mel remained quiet, glancing up at Arthur. She itched to leave; they were wasting so much time!

Arthur shook his head. "Gaius is keeping him from the edge of death with everything he can offer. Merlin needs this quest reward to make a full recovery," the Prince answered. He had slightly exaggerated Merlin's condition, but – they were wasting time. He needed his Father's permission. Now. "Grievously ill" and "dead" meant the same thing to Arthur has far as he was concerned, especially when it came to his best friend.

"Is this true?" Uther spoke, directing his question to Mel.

Mel nodded. "It is an illness such that he's rarely seen. And I fear that, without the antidote, the sickness may spread to the rest of Camelot, sire,"

The realization of an impending plague dawned in Uther's eyes. Mel tried not to smirk too much. She saw Arthur giving her a smile out of the corner of her eye.

Well played, Arthur thought. If there was anything to get Uther's permission, it was in giving the King a chance to protect his citizens, especially from an epidemic.

Uther nodded. "Very well. You two will embark on this quest first thing in the morning. Be back in a week, and make it fruitful. You are dismissed," he said, gesturing the dismissal with his hand.

Arthur nodded politely, trying to contain his relief. He placed a light pressure on Mel's back, escorting her out of the great hall in his company.

Outside in the hall, Mel sighed in relief and exhaustion. It had been a long day, and now that the stress of gaining Uther's permission to embark on the quest for his manhood had been dissolved, tiredness ate at her very being.

Arthur grinned down at Mel. "That went very well, all things considered. I'm surprised at Father's lack of resistance. I suppose the threat of a plague in the city is a real one, though," he said.

Through a yawn, Mel said: "Yes, well, I thought I would remind him of the repercussions of not letting us go."

"Strange, you don't sound too concerned about any of it," Arthur remarked, raising an eyebrow at how casual Mel was being about it all. It was the health of her cousin that was on the line, after all.

"Ah, well, I just had confidence that he would let us go, I guess," she said somewhat sheepishly. Merlin then made a mental note to be more openly concerned about his own impending death.

"Confidence well placed, it would seem," he said. His gaze flitted to Mel's eyes, where he could see the dancing reflections of the torch flames swallowed in blue. The girl's eyes really were beautiful. "You did well today," he said.

Mel smiled, looking down at her feet. "I barely did anything, save for making a fool out of myself."

"Well, I think we both did that," Arthur replied.

Mel gave him a crooked grin. "I can make it up to you by preparing your bed," she offered casually. Then she could get some sleep for herself. The day seemed to be dragging on forever.

Merlin was please to see a blush grace Arthur's face. The Prince nodded and lifted out his hand in an "after you" gesture.

"I'll see you in the morning then," Arthur said after Mel finished. She gave an awkward curtsey and smiled.

"I'll have the horses and packs ready," she answered and turned to leave. "Goodnight, Arthur,"

Arthur bit back the comment about her addressing him so casually for a servant. For all that she appeared to be, a servant didn't seem fitting for Mel.

~The next day~

Merlin kept his eyes closed as he woke. After a moment, he sighed loudly, realizing that he was still stuck in a female's body. He had hoped with all is being that at some point in the night he had again spoken in his sleep, this time the counter-spell to his current predicament. He was not so lucky. Secretly, he was glad that his female appearance had stayed… he was about to spend quite a lot of time alone with Prince Arthur. Also secretly, he knew this was a stupid reason to actually be glad of the invention of Mel. But, Merlin thought, his love life had seriously been lacking. Not that anything permanent can come out of this, he thought somewhat sadly. Once he finds out who Mel really is, I'll be put in the stocks. Forever.

He did kiss me, though, Mel thought. A smile bloomed on her face as Merlin recalled the memory. Arthur's kiss had meant more to Merlin than any other he had ever received. If nothing else happened between them - please let that not be so - then the memory of that one kiss, and the sensations it had granted Merlin, would serve as a strong force against Tenaya.

Sighing again, Merlin roused himself out of bed. He had a quest to prepare for. Possibly his most important quest ever.

Dawn was lighting up the morning when Merlin exited the castle to the stables. He yawned loudly, the noise spooking some nearby crows. He went about equipping the horses for a long journey, adding to them their packs with the food and water he had collected from the sleepy kitchen half an hour previously. Arthur and Mel had agreed the night before that they would just meet at the stables instead of Mel attending to the Prince's fitting, like Merlin would normally do prior to quest departure. It was all less embarrassing that way. Still though, Merlin couldn't stop himself from pouting at his missed chance to dress a ruffled and just-woken Arthur. He recalled the Prince looking adorable with messy blonde hair, his eyes still droopy with sleep as he demanded breakfast, naked chest bared as he usually slept with no shirt –

"Mel, good, you lack your cousin's knack of sleeping in," Arthur spoke from behind Mel.

Mel nearly jumped through the roof at his voice, crying out with surprise at the Prince's stealthy entry. Am I drooling? Mortified, Mel quickly swiped at her lips, thankfully finding no evidence of fantasy-induced drool. The horse Mel had been attending to jumped as she had, startled at the sudden activity. It bucked its head and kicked its hind legs backwards, exhaling explosively through his widened nostrils.

"Ah, good morning sire! Sorry, you just startled me - us-" Mel said over the noise. She yelped and jumped out of the way, nearly getting smacked by the restless horse.

Arthur came to the rescue, calming the horse down with a few trained strokes and sounds. "Are we all ready, then?" He said, trying to ignore how dreadfully cute Mel was when she was startled. And how much it reminded him of Merlin.

Mel nodded. "I think so, sire,"

"No time to lose then. It'll take us at least eight days to get there and back, wherever it is we're going, and Gaius said that Merlin has about a week before his body gives out," Arthur said, reminding them both of their stressful timeline.

Mel donned a face of intense concern. Concern not for the time line though, as it had no real urgency behind it seeing as there was no Merlin dying of a sickness. Arthur's statement had reminded Merlin that he had little time, four days in fact, to confess everything to the future King of Camelot. On top of that, he would have to survive Arthur's constant disbelief in Mel's instinctual direction giving. The Prince's pestering would surely cause him so much irritation that Tenaya would surely win the battle between their minds.

Apparently Merlin's extreme distress intensified Mel's look of concern. Arthur frowned and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Don't worry. These horses are the best Camelot has. We'll make it," he reassured, smiling a crooked grin. "Merlin's going to be fine." The last bit Arthur said aloud as comfort to himself. He needed to hear someone say the words, even if he believed the truth behind them was weak.

Mel nodded and forced a smile. Fine was the exact opposite condition Merlin would be in after Arthur discovered the truth.

No more time was wasted and, as the sun dawned on the horizon, Arthur and Mel set out for the mountains to the East.

Traveling within the safety of Camelot's territorial boundaries meant for little excitement the first few hours, and thus the minds of both men couldn't be distracted. Merlin, admittedly for the first hour of the journey, marvelled at how much more comfortable traveling by horse was for females. Needless to say, it was far more uncomfortable as a man. But even the novelty of this new upside to lacking male bits wore off, only to be replaced by the pressing need to confess everything to the Prince. Guilt nagged Merlin – he owed his long time friend, the future King of Camelot, and the man who'd saved his life countless times, the truth before he found out in a nastier way. Merlin bit his lip for the fifth time in the hour in physical manifestation of his worry. He stole a glance to the man riding at his side, who also seemed to be occupied with his own deep thoughts.

In the end, Arthur was going to find out the truth. Merlin just had to choose whether or not he wanted to mitigate the impending disaster by warning the Prince before it happened. Another worry nagged at Merlin's mind. If Mel confessed before they could reach the sorceress, would Arthur simply leave him in the forest, and in his rage, spread the word of Merlin's sorcery around Camelot? Merlin's eye widened. Arthur would be furious and embarrassed, especially after Arthur realized that he had kissed Merlin, not Mel. If Arthur left him in a rage before the quest was completed, Merlin didn't think his mental strength would be up to combating Tenaya's. Arthur leaving him would distress him too much.

Mel sighed out loud.

He couldn't tell him. Maybe Arthur would see reason? He had a good head on his shoulders. Right?

Mel snorted out loud and slumped her shoulders in self-defeat. The cloud of pessimism hanging over Merlin's mind was growing. What a mess. Either way I'm no match for Tenaya now…

Arthur glanced over as his companion sighed, taking in her slumped shoulders and look of defeat. He found it endearing how much she cared for her cousin. He was slightly surprised with himself – he had never in his life grown so fond of someone so quickly. Everything was so much easier with Mel. It was like he had always known her, such was the ease of communication with her. He tried to stave off the sadness he felt in knowing that, when the quest was finished and Merlin's health restored, Mel would most likely leave him. He would miss her lovely blue eyes the most. And how her lips felt against his... granted, he had only kissed the girl once, and it had been reluctantly cut off. He sighed with the realization that their quest wouldn't allow time for something so trivial as kissing a girl he had just met. It would just have to be a very fond memory. He would also miss the way she smiled. Her smile was eerily similar to Merlin's… he then realized that the boy hardly ever smiled in his company. Arthur frowned. He would have to change that.

The two travelers stopped around midday to stretch their cramped muscles, drink from the canteens and eat some of the biscuits Mel had packed. The cool air and humidity of the forest, coupled with the dense canopy of spruce and fir trees, shielded them from the heat of noon.

Mel sighed happily, stretching her arms high above her head. "Aaaah," she breathed out. "I can't believe how good it feels to ride horse-back in this form," she said, her eyes closed against the sunlight.

"Form? What form were you in before?" Arthur asked, his words said in a joking manner, not taking Mel too seriously.

Merlin's eyes widened, realizing that some amount of good luck had prevented his words from revealing too much. "Uh, I just meant that, before – well, I never actually rode that much in Ealdor, we didn't really have any horses, so my form wasn't amazing –"

Arthur laughed and raised a hand, cutting Mel off. She was too cute when she stuttered like that! He bit his tongue from saying that her form was quite amazing to him, and probably always had been. "It's alright, I shouldn't have prodded you," he said, his grin wide.

Merlin was both relieved and a bit annoyed at this, knowing full well that Arthur wouldn't have let the odd statement rest if he'd known the true identity behind it. Before she could stop herself, she said: "You know, Merlin was wrong about you."

Arthur quirked an eyebrow. He turned to his horse and adjusted a few straps. "Merlin's usually wrong about things. But how so?"

Mel shrugged and smirked lightly. "He said you were an impatient, prodding prat who demands perfect acquiescence to his orders," Maybe I went a bit too far with that one, Merlin thought. Still though, the look on Arthur's face was priceless.

A smidge of guilt prompted Mel to continue with her argument. "But clearly, he was wrong, because you seem to be a perfectly patient man who's happy with his servant straying a bit from orders, and manners," she said, smiling a heart winning grin at the Prince. When he finds out that I'm simultaneously insulting and complimenting him, Arthur's going to be so confused… Merlin was a bit confused himself.

"He's the prat," Arthur mumbled in response. He gave Mel a playful grin anyway, easing out of the atmosphere the tension raised from the insult to the Prince. "He never follows my orders anyways," he added with a snort. "Thinks he's above me or something."

Mel resisted the urge to smirk. Merlin knew full well that he could defeat the Prince in a second with his magical powers. He didn't necessarily think he was superior to the Prince, per se. That would be a dangerous attitude to have, considering their polar social roles. Arrogance wasn't Merlin's thing anyways. That role was best filled by the man currently in front of him.

Mel shrugged. "I – he just likes to be stubborn I suppose," she said in defense of himself. Merlin mentally slapped himself at the pronoun slip. He wasn't used to pretending to referring to himself in the second person.

"Yes, well, it's extremely irritating. Anything less wouldn't be Merlin," he said, rolling his eyes a bit. He suppressed the sudden unexplainable urge to grin like an idiot.

Mel didn't miss the way the corners of his lips twitched upwards, hiding a smile. "Sounds like you two really get on," she said. Picking up the hint from Arthur that their break time was nearing a close, she adjusted some straps on the saddle of her horse in preparation, mimicking what Arthur had finished doing.

"He's a good friend," Arthur admitted.

Mel swallowed nervously, a brave and stupid question on her lips. "Just a friend?" she asked, not looking at Arthur. Why, why would I ask such a thing?

Arthur froze, midway to mounting his horse. Awkwardly, he stepped out of the stirrups, almost physically unbalanced by the question.

"It's just, you seem to care for him a great deal," Mel continued, still averting the Prince's gaze. A furious blush dawned on her cheeks and her heart skipped a beat as she saw Arthur's mouth open to respond.

"No! I mean, yes, I care for him – he's my manservant, and my friend, but – no, Merlin is just a friend, albeit a very close one," Arthur stammered.

It gave Merlin intense satisfaction knowing that the question of his closeness with Arthur made the Prince so nervous and cute. If Arthur had absolutely no feelings for Merlin that stretched beyond platonic, he would have given a straight and controlled "No". But he hadn't. Instead of a calm and cool response, Arthur had stammered, and blushed, all of which blossomed inside Merlin a small hope that maybe, after every truth was revealed, his relationship with the Prince would remain semi intact.

Arthur ignored the perverse smirk on Mel's face and mounted his horse fully. He nodded towards Mel, indicating she should do the same. "We've got a lot of ground to cover," he said, reminding them of their impending time constraint.

Mel became serious, packing away the desire to torment Arthur further on the subject of his true identity. Foot in the stirrups and hands on the saddle, she heaved herself up onto the powerful steed and off they went. The impending danger of the border between Uther and Cenrid's Kingdom loomed ever closer. The free travel the two companions had enjoyed for the last few hours would soon come to an end, increasing the chance that Merlin's magical mistake would remain a permanent fate.

Semi lame ending, I know. I had to end it somewhere though T_T

Happy holidays everyone! I'll say that now since I most likely won't publish chapter 6 until after the holidays. Don't drink too much spike egg nogg!


	6. Trouble in the Woods

Arthur shot a worried glance to Mel, taking in her pale face, distorted with pain. She gasped and shut her eyes tight as Arthur pulled again on the arrow.

He opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off.

"It's okay," she gasped. "Just pull it out, I know how bad this can get." Merlin couldn't believe how painful an arrow to the thigh was! His respect for Camelot's knights mounted; all the pain they must have encountered on their patrols!

"You've had an arrow in the leg before?" Arthur asked, his question rushed with concern.

Mel took a deep breath, trying to stave off the rising nausea. "No, I just, I've seen men get wounded like this before. It's horrible," she said. She shifted against the tree to gain any semblance of comfort, exposing more of her leg to the Prince.

Arthur swallowed, his mouth pulled back in a thin line. He tried not to think about how smooth Mel's skin was, how cool it felt beneath his calloused hands, or how pale she was. He tried to focus on the matter at hand – getting the arrow out of Mel's leg before the wound got any worse. Arthur hated seeing people in pain, especially someone so innocent. He frowned, his eyes blazing as he thought of how Cenrid's men had just come out of nowhere, so fast that their horses hadn't even caught their scent. Certainly he had been expecting to be attacked once they had crossed from Uther's Kingdom into his, but not a meter from the border! Cenrid was getting desperate these days. Why, Arthur didn't know. Nor did he give a damn. All he cared about right now was Mel, and seeing her well.

Merlin took another deep breath to calm himself. He felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes, making his vision swim slightly. The pain was unbelievable. The only plus to the situation was the warm feeling of Arthur's warm hand on his thigh. But even that couldn't shade over the pain of the arrow. Beneath the pain Merlin felt the stirrings of his magic, trying to save him from some of the agony. He kept his eyes closed for fear of showing a golden flash to Arthur.

"Just do it," Mel said through clenched teeth. "The longer we stay here –"

"I know," said Arthur. He moved in a bit closer, his hand gripping the shaft of the arrow. "This will hurt," he said, pointlessly.

Arthur yanked out the arrow in one smooth stroke. Mel barely had time to stuff a fist in her mouth to muffle the sound of her screams. In her shock, her eyes had flown open. The arrow had been buried at least an inch in her leg. Droplets of blood were splattered on her leg from the force of the weapon's removal. Merlin felt sick to his stomach at the sight of so much of his own blood. His head swam and pounded in his temples and his eyes, dimming to blue, rolled back into his head. Arthur threw the arrow to the side and caught Mel as she fainted. Her fist, bloody from biting, fell out of her mouth, limp.

Arthur acted quickly. Mel had been right - the longer they stayed in the same spot, the higher the probability of being attacked a second time. He quickly tied around Mel's thigh the cleanest bit of shirt he could find and then, with a grunt, heaved her on to her horse. He frowned and bit his lip. After a moment's hesitation, he moved her to his own horse, leaving Mel's free of a load. Carefully, so Mel didn't fall off, Arthur mounted his horse and sat behind Mel, wrapping his arms securely around her middle, grabbing hold of the reigns.

"Come!" he called to the other horse. They left the scene.

Merlin awoke abruptly, not having time to enjoy the feeling of Arthur's strong, warm arms wrapped around his middle. He was extremely disoriented, didn't know which way was up. Nausea bubbled up in his stomach. Pain shot from his thigh.

"Wh-where am I? What happened? Arthur-" Mel asked, struggling in Arthur's grip.

"Whoa, stop," Arthur said to the horse, tugging on the reigns. He strengthened his hold on Mel, who was in danger of falling off their steed. "Shh, it's okay, we're on my horse, riding towards the Eastern Mountains," he said, his tone quiet and soothing, but no less controlled and authoritative.

"Arthur," Mel said. She took a few deep breaths, calming down her stomach. The nausea was beginning to pass. "Did I feint? I haven't done that since Cedric…" Mel stopped herself. She was not supposed to know that Cedric had once made Merlin feint in the stables with a smoke bomb. Hell, Merlin wasn't even supposed to know that. Merlin had always just suspected that's what had happened. Mel took another few deep inhales. Arthur's strong scent wafted through her nose, making her mouth water slightly. Even through the chain mail and armor, Arthur was still a comfort. Mel resisted the strong urge to cuddle in to him.

Arthur just assumed Cedric was some bloke from her village. He hugged Mel closer to his body, putting his back flesh to his armoured chest. "You feinted, yes. You've been out for about twenty minutes," he said softly.

Merlin froze against Arthur, who had taken to nuzzling his nose in his long hair. He felt the Prince breathe deeply, and then exhale warmly against a spot behind his ear, a spot Merlin now knew was extremely sensitive.

"How's your leg?" Arthur asked, his voice strangely husky sounding.

Mel cleared her throat. "U-um, it's, it still hurts," Merlin thought it was kind of a stupid question, but it was nice of Arthur to have asked at all, he supposed. He had asked it with genuine concern, laced with a bit of lust (Mel's heart skipped a beat). If he had been asking Merlin, there would be a hint of sarcasm, or reluctant care.

Arthur made a small "mm" sound in acknowledgment. His left hand lightly rested near the make-shift bandage on Mel's left thigh. Mel swallowed nervously. The fabric of her loosely fitting dress was slightly stretched, hugging tightly the far side of her thigh, outlining the shape of it. Arthur's other hand began to thread through Mel's hair.

Merlin resisted the urge to moan, both in pleasure and in pain. The light pressure of Arthur's hand near his wound was enough to cause him a great deal of pain.

Their horses began to grow restless, both of them shifting their heads right and left, exhales coming in huffs and hooves pawing at the ground. Fear of a second attack punctuated the slightly awkward atmosphere.

Mel spoke first. "Arthur, we should get moving,"

Arthur broke away from Mel, hands flying back to the reigns. "Right. Merlin's cure." He put his hands on Mel's shoulders. "Are you okay to ride on your own?" He wanted her to answer no so he could keep holding her, but at the same time yes, so that he wouldn't be distracted so much by holding her.

Merlin hesitated. Truthfully, he still felt very feint. He hadn't been a very good rider in his normal form. He had even fallen off once when he'd fallen asleep en route to rescuing Gwen. He didn't turn to look Arthur in the eye as he answered, he did not want him to see the blush on his cheeks. "I still feel really feint… could I stay on this horse?"

The corners of his lips twitching upward in a grin, Arthur nodded. "Of course you can."

The horse snorted, annoyed that his opinion didn't count.

Amazingly, the two travellers weren't the victims of a secondary display of hostility from Cenrid's men. Nevertheless, they both kept their senses peeled for the hours that remained of their trek. Neither companion wanted a repeat of what Mel had gone through hours before.

A number of times, despite the jarring pain in her leg, Mel had attempted at small talk to relieve some tension out of the air.

"You know, I don't understand the point of tourneys," she said, bringing up yet another topic of Knighthood, "especially the ones that involve no rules other than leaving one man standing. What kind of game is that? To kill for sport?"

Arthur shook his head. "It's not for sport, it's to-"

"Yeah I know, prove that you're a man," Mel said, in a slightly sarcastic tone. "I don't think killing other knights in any proves that you're more of a man."

Arthur quirked an eyebrow, forgetting that she couldn't see anyways. "And you would be an expert on what proves a man's worth, then?"

Mel nodded. And then immediately shook her head, catching herself. "Well, I don't think Merlin is any less of a man than you are. He doesn't kill random strangers just for the hell of it." Really, it was pointless talking about himself in third person, because when Arthur learned that Mel really was Merlin then he would look insane to Arthur. He was going to develop a serious egoism complex from this epoch…

Arthur snorted. "First of all, Merlin is a wimp, and a shotty fighter at best. All he's good at is blabbering on incessantly to cover the sound of his own knees shaking. I admit, he does have some moments where he seems wise, and wisdom is a good trait in a man. Secondly, it's not "for the hell of it", Mel, it's for the honor and glory of knowing you have the physical strength to defend your people. And if I'm to be King one day, my people must be confident of my strength." Arthur distantly thought that the way Mel had been continuing to make small talk was eerily similar to how Merlin usually talked non-stop on any sort of mission in the forest.

Mel shrugged. He then decided to breech a sensitive and controversial topic. "Fair enough. But I don't understand when Uther says announces that any weapon goes in the tournaments, and that you can kill using any means. What about sorcery?"

Arthur nearly stopped their horse. "Sorcery?"

Merlin resisted the urge to turn, wanting to see Arthur's facial expression. He could just imagine it: the right corner of his mouth would be turned up, exposing some teeth, his eyes intense and his eyebrows furrowed.

"It's been banned, of course. But he does say anything goes," she prodded.

"Well it obviously doesn't count, because it's banned. My father has made it very clear that anyone with magic will be executed. The tournaments are no exception to the rule. Magic is a powerful weapon, I don't disagree, but the Knights would be stupid to use it, especially with my Father watching."

Mel was quiet for a minute. "But how do you feel about it? Sorcery, I mean."

Arthur sighed. "Why so persistent all of a sudden? You're so alike your cousin… always asking questions about everything."

They were both quiet, the sounds of the horses' hooves trotting mingling with the wind rustling through the trees enveloping them. Merlin waited patiently for Arthur's answer. He would wait for an awful long time if it meant a positive answer. It was perhaps the most important answer he would wait for. Mel shivered slightly. The air was getting cooler as the sun lowered on the horizon.

"My life was once saved by a sorcerer," Arthur began after a few minutes. "He was so stubborn with me at first, to all of what I stood for. I hadn't even known he'd had magic before he'd taken the arrow. His name was-"

"Will," Mel mumbled. Merlin grew sad, suddenly mourning his friend.

"You knew him?"

"He was my best friend in Ealdor," Mel said. "Through… through Merlin."

Arthur nodded. "If all sorcerers could be like him, then, I wouldn't share my Father's hatred and fear of magicians. I've had enough experience to learn though, that magic is often used for evil more than good."

"Uther doesn't exactly invite a welcoming attitude from those with magic," Mel grumbled. Merlin had to restrain himself. So many words were fighting to be spoken, a rage threatening to boil over from his stomach to his mouth and out to the Prince's ears. Arthur's answer though, had given him hope. He had liked Will, whom he thought was a sorcerer. That had to mean something, right?

Arthur sighed again. "No, his attitude is not the most inviting, I'll agree with that one."

"I'm sorry that your experience with magic has been so biased," Mel said. Merlin could sense that, sometime soon, that would change. Arthur was destined to forge a peace treaty between the lands of Camelot and sorcery. Merlin would be the catalyst for that. Maybe this whole experience was the jumpstart to Arthur's change of heart? Merlin could only hope.

"Sometimes though…" Arthur began. He snorted and shook his head, smiling. "No, it's stupid."

Merlin's curiousity spiked. He turned slightly, looking at Arthur from behind him. "What?"

"Sometimes I feel as if…. Someone close to me knows when I'm in trouble, and is working from the sidelines to make sure everything falls into place, and is always there, so that in the end, everything somehow works out."

Mel smiled. Finally, Merlin was starting to get some recognition. "That's not stupid at all."

Arthur kept it to himself that, throughout his speech, Merlin's name had been floating in his mind.

"We should make camp. It's getting dark," said Arthur after a period of silence.

Mel let her shoulders slump forward, suddenly realizing how strangely tense she had been for most of the ride. Their serious conversation had acted as a temporary shadow for the pain in her leg, but now that they were stopping for the night, the psychosomatic block disappeared, letting the pain soar back.

Arthur was extremely careful as he helped Mel down from the horse. She gasped in pain as her left foot touched the ground. She put a hand up to silence Arthur and shook her head. "I'm okay," she said. She limped over to the small clearing they had stopped at. Arthur shadowed her, making sure she didn't trip on a root or a branch. He suspected that Merlin's clumsiness ran in the family.

Clumsiness, it appeared, did run in the family. Arthur's quick battle-trained reflexes saved Mel from crashing to the ground. He carefully set her down by a tree.

"I'm beginning to think you're Merlin's twin sister, not his cousin," Arthur said, shaking his head, grinning.

Mel swallowed thickly and blinked back a few tears as she looked up at Arthur. "Why is that?"

"You have the same brand of clumsiness and stubbornness, my dear," he replied.

Mel nodded. She shivered and hugged herself, wishing she could cast a small spell to heat herself up without Arthur noticing.

"I'll make a fire," said Arthur, Mel's shivering a loud cue.

The reflection of golden flames danced in the blue depths of Mel's eyes. Arthur remembered something he had seen earlier in the day, something curious.

"Mel?" Arthur said.

Mel roused herself. The flames' dance had placed her in a trance.

"Yes, sire?"

"Before, when I pulled the arrow out of your leg, your eyes, they… were gold."

Merlin mentally cursed at himself. Restraining his magic had seemed such a trivial thing compared to the pain of an arrow being forcefully removed from his leg. Now, though… well, Merlin mused, it didn't really matter now that Arthur would soon be finding out his secret.

"Arthur, I…"

Arthur shrugged. "I figured it must've just been a trick of the light. Just the sun shining in your eyes,"

Mel's face was one of simultaneous relief and disbelief. Sometimes Merlin didn't think Arthur was fit to be a King when the man was so dense and closed minded about obvious things.

"Don't you think?" Arthur asked her, poking at the sand with a stick.

"Yes, sire," Mel said, nodding. Let's go with that.

Suddenly, a huge yawn took over Mel's body, announcing to Arthur and everything near them that sleep was needed.

Arthur chuckled. "Tired?"

Mel blushed.

Arthur grew serious. "Your wound is using up your body's resources. We should get some rest, we've a long way to go yet."

Yawning again, Mel nodded. She went to the horses and unloaded their sleeping gear. She was looking forward to sleeping and resting her sore body. The pain of her leg would most likely prevent an easy transgression into blissful unconsciousness, but Merlin could tell that sleep was not far off.

A sudden thought froze Merlin in his tracks.

This whole situation had been caused during his sleep. He was prone to sleep talking. What if he said another spell in his sleep. What if he turned Arthur into a female? Or worse, some random conglomeration of creatures? How the hell would he explain that one? Finding out Merlin's secret in that way would be worse than anything… another bad experience wasn't what the Prince needed.

"Mel? Something wrong?" Arthur asked.

She turned to face him, both their sleeping things in her arms. "Um, no, I'm just-"

Arthur stepped up to Mel and gave her a soft smile. "Are you scared to sleep in the forest? I promise, nothing bad will happen with me here," he said, his person brimming with confidence.

Mel gave a slightly shaky smile. It's not you I'm worried about, Merlin thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach. Great, now he was too worried to fall asleep. He desperately needed sleep, too, if he was to recover from his leg wound. Mel sighed out loud. It was going to be a long night.


	7. More trouble in the woods

It was time for sleep, but Merlin was far too nervous to relax. He lay on the cold forest floor, his mind racing. Sleep had long escaped the turmoil of his mind, giving up after a few hours.

He couldn't risk speaking in his sleep again – not with the Prince of Camelot so close! Of course Merlin had no way to guarantee he actually would talk in his sleep, but according to Gaius, his track record was in favour of another magical mishap happening.

Merlin nearly cried out of frustration. He bit his lip and buried his face in his arm. He almost shivered at how cold his skin felt. The coldness and softness of his female arm reinforced his situation. He absolutely  _needed_  to sleep. The wound on his thigh would not get better without rest, and he could not afford to be weak when the time came to meet Tenaya.

He was  _so tired_ … maybe if he just… closed his eyes for a bit…

Merlin's eyes opened wide.  _No! I can't risk it!_

He sighed and sat up, hugging his knees toward his chest and resting his chin on them. Was Arthur asleep? If he was, how many hours had passed? Merlin gazed at the Prince with tired eyes. The dying embers of their fire cast a dim, orange light on the man's sienna brown hair. He faced Merlin, but his eyes were closed. Merlin knew he was being ridiculous, but he was jealous.  _Damn him for not being a sleep talker!_

"Mel, why aren't you asleep?" Arthur asked, his voice low. He kept his eyes closed.

Merlin fidgeted. He felt like he'd been caught stealing from the kitchens from the accusatory tone in the Prince's voice. "I… I don't want to sleep," she answered in a whisper.

Arthur opened his eyes and propped his head up on one elbow. His lips lowered in a frown and he searched Mel's blue eyes. After a moment, he asked, "Are you scared of another attack?"

Mel looked away.  _Yes, but the attack would be from me…_ "I – I know that you're here, and that you're strong and everything, but – but," And then, out of nowhere, Mel began to cry. Merlin's exhaustion, pain from his wound, fear of Tenaya and his current situation, frustration at himself and at Uther's ban on magic all bubbled together, overwhelming him. He choked out a sob and buried his face in his knees. He didn't want to  _be_  here anymore. He just wanted to sleep, and be a  _man_ , and be with  _Arthur_ , and –

"Mel," Arthur said, sighing. He moved over to Mel and tried to swallow the discomfort that arose at seeing a woman cry. He watched as Mel's shoulders shook with mute sobs.  _Poor girl_ , he thought.

Mel raised her head and looked at Arthur. Arthur gasped. Mel's eyes were swimming with tears, and in the soft firelight, they looked golden. The soft fiery colour was quickly becoming Arthur's favourite shade. Crying had made her  _beautiful_.

Arthur locked eyes with Mel's and moved forward to cup her cheek, stopping the tears rolling down her blotchy cheeks. He wanted her. He knew she was in pain from her wound, but the way she was looking at him reminded him of their kiss in the Physician's office.

Merlin's heart skipped a beat when, for the second time, Arthur's lips landed up on his. He almost pushed Arthur away, threatening to object because he was in pain, and he was  _so_  tired – but in his sleep fogged brain, Merlin had never wanted anything more.

Except that, when Arthur knew of Merlin's secrets, each glorious kiss would be converted into a death sentence.

"Arthur," Mel whispered urgently against Arthur's warm lips. Arthur mistook her urgent tone for one of desire. Arthur grunted and pushed his chest against Mel's, gently pushing her down softly against the forest floor. He kissed Mel hard, the desire that had been growing within him since their first kiss tumbling out through his lips. He slid his warm hand up her uninjured thigh, swallowing her choked moan with his mouth.

Merlin's guilty conscience was then drowned in the feeling of Arthur's tongue stroking against his. He wondered if kissing Arthur would feel this good as a man…  _it would never get that far,_  he thought sadly. Panic rose within Merlin's chest again, drowning out the pleasurable feeling of Arthur's tongue against his.

Arthur thought he was Merlin's cousin - an actual girl – and when this was all over, how badly would Merlin be slaughtered when Arthur found out who he was  _actually_  kissing?

Completely against his will, Mel tried to push Arthur away. He willed strength into his exhausted arms. "Wait, Arthur, stop," Mel whispered. She broke the kiss, turning her head away.

Arthur smirked against her mouth and moved against her. She squeaked when she felt something hard press against her leg. "You really want me to stop?"

Mel suddenly felt dizzy. Sleep was pulling at her consciousness, begging for her mind to surrender. Merlin's guilt was at war with sleep, keeping her awake enough to make Arthur understand that they couldn't continue.

"I – I have to tell you something," She was going to pass out, that's what she needed to tell him. "Please, I – you don't understand,"

Arthur looked concerned. Mel appeared to be struggling with something, her mouth twisting in indecision, face scrunching up with pain. "Can't it wait?"

Merlin almost snorted. Typical impatient always-gets-his-way Arthur. "No, I -" she took a calming breath, and tried to speak past the pounding headache suddenly alarming her senses, against the blackness chewing away at her vision, "I'm not Mel, I'm Mer…"

Mel's chin hit her chest with a soft "thunk".

Arthur pressed his ear to her mouth. She had fallen asleep mid sentence. And in the middle of quite an interesting sentence, at that. What had Mel been about to reveal? Arthur's curiousity, and sense of relief that the girl had finally been able to fall asleep, had effectively dampened his arousal for the night. His own need to sleep helped, too.

"I guess it can wait," he grumbled. Arthur sighed and resigned himself sleep.

~~~~The next morning, Day 2/4~~~~

Arthur woke to the obnoxious call of an angry crow. The Prince sighed in annoyance. Much as he appreciated the morning call, he  _despised_  the assault on his ears.

Arthur let Mel sleep while he unpacked their breakfast. For a second, he almost missed Merlin's way of insisting on saying something stupid like "rise and sunshine" when delivering his morning meal. He allowed himself a small smile before turning his attention to Mel. He frowned. The girl looked much too pale for his liking. If today they weren't attacked by Cenrid's men then hopefully she would make a speedy recovery. He didn't need to worry about the health of both Merlin  _and_  his cousin. Though, he would much rather attend to Mel's recovery than Merlin's, Arthur thought.

Arthur waited for another ten minutes to wake Mel. Time was something they could  _not_  afford.  _Not when Merlin could be dead in two nights._

Arthur placed Mel's share of the food by her head and then gently shook her shoulder. Her face was turned into her arms, her long black hair shielding her face from Arthur like a curtain. "Mel, wake up, we've got to go,"

He watched her eyebrows furrow through her dark hair. The expression reminded him of Merlin. She moved her face further into her arm, away from Arthur. He shook her shoulder again, a sense of panic and impatience spurring him on.

Suddenly, Mel bolted awake with a gasp. She whipped around and faced Arthur, and then cupped his face in her hands, her eyes wide and critical. Her eyes whipped around his face, his body, and back. Arthur raised his hands, instinctively on the defence.

"Arthur! Are you okay?" she asked, her voice filled with panic.

"Of course I'm okay," Arthur replied, his tone calm in an effort to settle Mel. "Calm down, you'll faint again," he added. On a double take though, Mel seemed much better. Her cheeks were rosier, and her hands weren't as cold on his cheeks as he thought they'd be.

"You don't feel strange?" Mel asked, though somewhat calmed. "And I'm feeling much better," Her hands relaxed a bit on Arthur's face, but didn't drop. Merlin was, for the first time in a while, thankful for his magically upgraded healing abilities.

Arthur raised an eyebrow, silently questioning the girl's sanity. "I feel fine," he said with finality.

Mel sagged with relief and dropped her hands down to her sides.  _Thank the Gods,_  Merlin thought to himself. He must have been so deeply asleep, and his body so without the resources to spare for talking, that no misspoken spells had victimized the Prince during the night.

Arthur was getting very confused, and he didn't like being confused. It frustrated him to no end. "Mel, tell me why I shouldn't have woken up fine this morning," he demanded. "And eat your breakfast, we've got to go,"

Merlin almost decided to tell Arthur everything there and then, but he also wanted to prolong Arthur's trust in Mel. And, more selfishly, Merlin wanted to do – whatever that was last night – again. It was only Day 2 of their quest to regain Merlin's regular state of being, or according to Arthur, the cure for Merlin's sickness. Merlin fully assumed that the Prince would leave him once he knew the truth, especially after what they had done last night, and… Merlin just didn't want to deal with that right now.  _The rejection would be too painful_.

So Mel ate the apple and piece of bread to fuel his somewhat petite body, and ignored Arthur, a behaviour that Merlin knew, from past experience, would aggravate him.

The hair on the back of Merlin's neck stood on end as he could feel Arthur try to burn a hole through his head with his eyes. He forced the last bite of bread down, took a swig of water, and rose to meet his horse.

"Mel!" Arthur said, in a "What the hell, don't ignore me!" sort of tone. Oh no, Prince Arthur of Camelot was  _not_  used to being ignored by women. Or anyone, really. Morgana didn't count.

From atop the horse, Mel looked down at Arthur, who was still eating his breakfast. "We're not going to save your manservant if you sit there eating all day," she said, trying to keep her face straight.

Arthur had to blink to make sure he was still talking to Mel, and not Merlin, the latter being the only person he knew who would be brave enough to have that sass toward him. He exhaled sharply, asking the Gods for patience, and mounted his own horse, eating his bread as he did so.

"And what you were going to say to me last night?" Arthur asked after about an hour of silent riding, as if picking up from another conversation.

Mel remained silent, though Arthur saw the corner of her lip twitch, signalling that she had heard him.

"It must have been something important if you needed to stop kissing me," Arthur stated bluntly. He was immensely satisfied as Mel's cheeks erupted in a blush.

"It's not important," Mel said weakly. He had never been good at lying. For good measure, Merlin prompted his horse to move a bit faster.

Arthur's ego took another blow. He frowned as he matched Mel's pace. "Did I do something wrong?"

Mel looked back at Arthur and shook her head, her eyes widened. "No! No, it's not you, you're fine, perfect," Mel stopped herself, another blush rising to her cheeks. Well, he supposed healing Arthur's ego wouldn't be such a bad move.

Arthur's eyebrows rose and he smirked. "Well, I wouldn't say  _perfect_ ,"

Mel turned so that he wouldn't see her roll her eyes. Mel's compliments seemed to detour Arthur away from his curiousity.  _No, dense and egotistical are not qualities for a perfect Prince_ , Merlin thought with a chuckle.

Arthur prompted his horse to close the distance from Mel's horse. "Look, you can't ignore me all day. Tell me what's bothering you," he said again, this time giving her a heart-winning smile. "Maybe I can help?"

 _Less of a demanding prat and more of a kind, helpful man. He's changing tactics._ "You're already helping me enough by accompanying me on this quest," Mel replied. The irony of the whole situation again threatened to swallow Merlin whole. Arthur had been almost sweet in his iron resolve to heal his manservant from an impending sickness, but when the Prince learnt the true reason for their quest, Arthur would most likely slay Merlin. Guilt and regret at even involving Arthur ate away at Merlin.

"Let's just hurry and get to the mountains," Mel said, her tone short.

Arthur smiled and shook his head. "You're just as stubborn as your cousin. You know, one time he-"

Whatever Arthur had been about to reminisce was cut short as he was blasted off his horse. The horse's nostrils flared and it whinnied in alarm.

"Arthur! What-!"

Merlin tugged on the reigns in his grasp, trying to calm his frantic horse. Merlin would recognize a blast of magic anywhere. He quickly scanned the area and could not see the sorcerer.

Arthur was instantly on his feet, sword in hand, eyes scanning the surroundings for their enemy. "Cenrid, you coward! Come out of hiding!" He ignored the fact that no tangible weapon of man had been used against him. He clipped at his horse for it to calm down.

A deep, wicked laugh assaulted their senses. "Emrys," The voice came from everywhere and nowhere. Arthur and Merlin, both now dismounted from their horses, searched frantically for the owner of the voice.

Merlin's gut clenched in panic.  _Emrys!_  Only beings of the Old Religion knew of his true name, the name the Druids had christened him with.  _A Druid would not be so unfriendly as to knock a companion of Emrys of his horse_.

"Show yourself!" Arthur cried. He gripped his sword tighter. A failing sensation in his gut killed any thoughts about his sword being useful against a magical being who could, from so far away, blast a full grown man to the ground.

"As you wish," the voice said.

Arthur and Merlin both whipped around to watch as, from behind a large boulder, the sorcerer exposed himself. He was a short man of a great weight, his head completely bald. His ears and nose were adorned with many piercings, and his robes were speckled in glittering jewels. The fat fingers of his hands were decorated with rings of every shape and size.

"What do you want?" Mel asked, daring to move a step forward. Merlin tried not to judge the sorcerer's stout character with much relief. He knew from experience that, despite small size, a great power could be held within the man. A power that was apparently directed at Merlin with malicious intent.

"Emrys, what has happened to you?" the little man said. His lips twitched into a smile, as if he dared to laugh.

Merlin's eyes shifted towards Arthur's, fear and panic held in them. This little man was about to ruin everything.  _At least I don't have to reveal myself now. This idiot will do it for me._

Arthur's confused face met Mel's. "What the hell is he talking about? And  _who_  is Emrys?"

Mel shook her head at Arthur, her eyes wide.

Arthur turned his attention to the sorcerer. He pointed his sword at the man, angry. "Why did you knock me off my horse? What is it you want?"

The little man chuckled. "So many questions! I suppose it is fitting for your ignorance, Prince Arthur."

"How do you know my name? What-"

Arthur's mouth moved, but no more words escaped. His eyes widened and, dropping his sword, he clawed at his throat.

The sorcerer gave a heavy sigh. "It had to be done. His incessant questioning grew bothersome. Wouldn't you agree, Emrys?"

Merlin hid his sympathy with the sorcerer. Yes, Arthur could be an annoying prat sometimes, and Merlin would be a liar if he denied ever wanting to silence the man with magic, but he had never actually committed to it.

"Now then, Emrys, as you seem to be powerless in your present company, and for good reason I should think, you are to come with me to my home," the sorcerer began walking towards Merlin. His many jewels and rings glittered in the sunlight, turning the man into a walking prism. Arthur watched as he neared Mel, silently glaring and fuming, ready to punch down the little man. The sorcerer shot Arthur a malicious smile before addressing Mel. "You see, I am a collector of magical beings. And you Emrys, in your current form especially, are simply too delicious to resist collecting. The Prince of Camelot should fetch a fair price in the market, as well."

Arthur's eyes widened and he froze.  _This man thinks that Mel is a magical being?_

Merlin avoided Arthur's eyes and tried to breathe. He would deal with Arthur later. Right now he needed to avoid being "collected" by the fat little man with far too much jewellery. As far Merlin was concerned, now that his secret was out, he could use all the magic he needed to escape from their enemy.

"You're not very smart are you," Mel said, looking down in disdain at the little man.

The sorcerer frowned, his confidant smirk slipping slightly.

"You've just revealed my magic to my companion. With that, I'm free to use however much of it I need to protect myself from you adding me to your collection," Merlin said, ending in a sneer. Anger made Merlin's hands shake. He had wanted to reveal his secret to Arthur on his  _own_ time and under his  _own_  terms. Now that chance had been stolen from him.

Arthur choked.  _Mel has magic._  His mind was already trying to deny the truth, and his heart was quickly trying to deny whatever feelings it held for her.

The little man backed away slightly and raised his hands. "You fool! I always collect what I want, dead or alive! It matters not to me!" His eyes flashed gold and strange words began flowing from his mouth. "My magic is greater than yours!"

Arthur's looked on in frustration, his words and actions both paralyzed by the man's magic. He could do nothing to prevent the sorcerer as he plucked from his person a golden ring and threw it at an unsuspecting Mel. Mel opened her mouth to verbalize a counter-attack, but instead screamed in pain as the ring doubled in thin air and circled her wrists in burning hand cuffs. She crouched down to the ground, struggling to free herself from the flaming cuffs. Arthur watched as her eyes, wide and wet with fear and pain, turned golden with counter magic. The little sorcerer cackled with mirth as flames from the cuffs licked up Mel's arms to encircle her neck in a fiery choker. Arthur's gut clenched as he watched Mel tear her throat with screams, despairing at his inability to protect her. The last thing he saw before he was knocked unconscious was the sorcerer's smirking face.


	8. A Tense Escape

Arthur awoke slowly, with rage in his heart. At first, he couldn't understand why he felt so frustrated and distressed.  _Something is wrong_. He felt fear, and so much physical pain. His mind was alert and ready to act but his body felt paralyzed. His mobility had been stolen, replaced by a full-body pain that tingled over his skin like a thousand tiny daggers.

_Paralyzed._

Arthur inhaled sharply through his nose and opened his eyes. The after-image of angry flames burned in his eyes. He remembered now what had happened with the sorcerer in the forest. Arthur had been blasted off his horse by a cool, angry blast of air. Laughter from nowhere, and then, emerging from the trees, a squat sorcerer covered in golden jewels. He had said he was a collector of magical beings with the intention of collecting Mel.

 _Mel has magic_.

To the sorcerer though, Mel was known as Emrys. Who is Emrys? Was that a name, or word, invented by the Druids? Arthur felt extremely conflicted. He knew that the Druids could be a very dangerous people, but he had also lately come to respect those with magic. He had lately been realizing that his Father's relentless hostile pursuit of those with magic fell nothing short of genocide. Whatever had happened prior to Arthur's birth, whatever had caused the Great Purge, was still fuelling Uther's hatred of sorcery. Arthur supposed he would never understand. What he did know, however, was that a weapon could be used for good. It is not the sword that kills, but the Knight wielding it.

Even with these realizations, Arthur could not quell the unease in his heart. Mel had magic, he now knew that for sure. Her eyes had turned golden; it had not been his imagination. For the sorcerer to have taken an interest in his companion only solidified Arthur's suspicions.

But, did that mean Mel was evil? Uther would certainly think so. Arthur's stomach did an uncomfortable back flip. What if… No, he thought immediately. Mel had not enchanted him. He could remember everything that had happened since he'd met her. He couldn't possibly think that anyone resembling Merlin so much was evil.

Panic suddenly stole the Prince's heart. He awoke fully and tried to sit up. He grunted in frustration when he realized his body was still paralyzed.

Where was Mel?  _Hell, where am I?_

A high pitched cackle came from the right of Arthur. It echoed in their large cave, propagating longer than its owner had sustained it.

"Welcome back, Prince Arthur," said the sorcerer.

"Where's Mel?" Arthur growled. He was surprised that he had his voice back, even though his body was still paralyzed. He tried to move again, desperately hoping that with the regain of his voice, his body was freed as well.  _Merlin!_ He needed to get to Merlin. Arthur now felt sick with panic. Mel was nowhere to be seen, possibly burnt to death by enchanted flames, while back at Camelot Merlin was on his death bed, lying in wait for Arthur to rescue him. A deep sense of hopelessness tugged at Arthur's being. He wanted to kill this stupid,  _evil_  man, wanted to fatally pierce his life with his sword.

The little man approached closer. He smiled at his prisoner, malicious and gloating. "You mean Emrys? My dear man, your ignorance is unfailing!"

Arthur gritted his teeth in frustration. He could not afford this wasted time. And this man…

" _You fool! I always collect what I want, dead or alive! It matters not to me!"_

What if Mel was already dead, lying cold somewhere, scarred from the burns?

Arthur tried to move again. His body stubbornly refused to listen.

The sorcerer laughed again, sending a cold, piercing sound around the glittering cave. "Try as you might, you will not escape my bindings. You, my Prince, do not possess any magic."

"Where. Is. Mel," Arthur asked again, his voice deadly cold.

The sorcerer shot him a cold glare. "Such an ignorant, pitiful being. You may not even be  _worth_  my collection," he said. His eyes roamed the cave, taking in all of his treasures, glowing golden and red. He smiled again. "Though I should think that, given your status, Camelot will pay quite the price to have you back,"

Arthur fumed silently at the man. He had no idea how long he had been in the cave, no idea what time it was or how much further they'd had to travel until reaching Merlin's cure.

The sorcerer seemed to consider Arthur for a moment. "You truly do not know, do you?"

Arthur kept his mouth firm. He would not give the sorcerer the satisfaction of exploring his own ignorance.

A loud, long laugh erupted from the glittering man. "Oh, oh this is so precious! To think that the son of Uther Pendragon, condemner of magicians, has been in the company of the most powerful warlock in the world without even knowing!" He bent down to look Arthur directly in the eye. "Warlocks, my friend, are not female."

Now Arthur was well and truly confused. "Mel is female," he said flatly, feeling stupid.

The sorcerer gave a condescending, high pitched laugh. "Emrys has magic unrivalled by any other being alive. I feel no shame in admitting that. He may choose to appear as a female, though," his brow furrowed, "it is beyond me why." He then gave a lecherous smile and rubbed his hands together. "I do like it when my collections have…  _unique_  interests. And this form of Emrys is quite delicious, wouldn't you agree, ignorant one?"

An angry heat threatened to swallow Arthur whole. "I don't care if Mel, or whatever her name is, has enchanted me, or disillusioned me, you're  _not touching her_."

The sorcerer's eyes pitied the Prince. "And you think you can do anything, lying there as you are?" He laughed with mirth and spread his arms wide. "You are just another piece of my glorious collection!"

Arthur's tried to keep his face straight. He had just seen, from behind the sorcerer, a flash of Mel's gown. His eyes shifted back to the sorcerer, who appeared to have not noticed Arthur's temporary distraction, so gloating was he of his collection.

The sorcerer sighed. "It is a pity though, that I had to mar his lovely new shell so heavily. If only Emrys had come willingly, then -"

"You wish," said Mel from the darkness. Her voice was so raspy that the words had been almost incoherent.

Arthur's heart soared. Mel was alive! His mind banished all thoughts of enchantment or betrayal and simply basked in the sight of Mel, and in the notion that they would escape in time to save Merlin.

The sorcerer's face fell and he whipped around, his jewels banging together. Arthur saw a tinge of fear take over the sorcerer's face. Mel's body looked scarred and broken, but the chains were gone from her wrists, leaving her free to use her unrivalled magic.

With a tip of her head, Mel walked with confidence towards the man. Even as a girl, Merlin towered over him. He tried to hide how weak and battered he felt. He met Arthur's eyes and saw surprise, relief, and - Merlin's stomach fell – betrayal. What had been revealed about Mel's true nature?

"Your magic is weak compared to mine," Mel said in a rasp. "I will  _not_ be added to your collection," Mel had noticed with relief that no other human bodies had been near to her location of captivity.

Merlin did not allow the little man to reply. With a wince of pain, he flattened both palms against the sorcerer's jewel adorned robe. A spell commanded all of the jewels to enlarge and ignite. The trinkets began to burn through the man's clothes. He screamed and fell to the ground, hands flying, fingers trying to remove the corrosive jewels. What had been his pride and joy had now been transformed into tools orchestrating his own death.

Arthur and Merlin watched in silence as the sorcerer's body burned into an unrecognizable corpse, leaving behind only his many glowing treasures.

Mel winced and fell to the ground. She rubbed at her wrists, taking large gulps of air to keep from fainting.

Arthur gave her a minute of silence before requesting her to break his paralysis.

Mel's eyes flashed gold and mobility crashed through Arthur's limbs like a welcome flood. The forced tension left his bones and he sagged against the ground. He allowed himself a moment to feel relief that Mel was alive, that the evil sorcerer was dead and that  _finally_ , they could continue with their mission.

"Thank you," he said, his voice free of emotion.

The air was thick with tension. Arthur wasn't sure if he even knew who Mel was anymore. She had, after all, turned up out of absolutely nowhere, claiming to be Merlin's cousin with the only intention of curing him. How was he to trust her with the knowledge that she was not only a sorceress, but wasn't at all who she claimed to be?

"I'm sorry,"

Arthur grunted and sat up. "What?" he said.

Mel cleared her throat, putting a hand up to massage it. "I'm sorry," she repeated, her voice louder and clearer. Merlin wasn't sure how Arthur would interpret his apology, for he knew he had many things for which to be sorry, but he knew he had had to say something all the same. And apologizing had seemed like the right thing to say. Now though, upon seeing Arthur's hurt grimace, he regretted it.

Arthur averted his eyes from Mel's. "Let's just get out of this rotten place," he said.

With a quick scan of the cave Arthur located his sword. He stood up and grabbed it, immensely glad to no longer feel naked and unprotected. Armour could only be so useful against enemies. After a second's hesitation, Arthur offered a hand to Mel.

Merlin's heart was going to break. There was so much distrust in Arthur's eyes and the Prince was still willing to help him up.  _I must look terrible_ , he thought. He certainly felt terrible. His hands, wrists, arms and neck were covered in angry red burns that seared painfully into his very being. He accepted Arthur's hand and, wincing, carefully stood up.

"Thanks," she whispered, her voice was still raspy from screaming.

With a few fumbled steps, Arthur led them out of the cave. Once in the open air, he felt immensely better. He was extremely surprised when he noticed both of their horses tethered to a tree not fifty feet away. The horses shifted restlessly upon seeing their riders. Their nostrils flared and they made sounds of frustration, eager to escape a place with such a bad energy.

"I suppose he was going to sell these for ransom as well, then?" Arthur mumbled to himself. "Greedy bastard."

With slightly trembling hands, Arthur untied the horses from the trees. He swallowed against the sudden lump in his throat. He was just tired from the ordeal and the betrayal. No, he would  _not_  cry. What the hell was wrong with him?

He turned back to Mel, who was standing a few feet away, shoulders slumped and knees bent. She was pale as ice and looked about to shatter into a thousand pieces.

"Are you alright to ride?" asked Arthur. He felt disgusted with himself. Of course she was not alright to ride.

Mel gave a shaky nod and took a step forward. "We – we have to get to the Mountains -"

"Right, Merlin is- Mel!"

Mel had pitched forward. She gasped and cried out in pain at the impact. Arthur crouched down beside her, suddenly grasping how close to death Mel might be from the serious burns. And what if the burns held in them a magically enchanted ferocity? Mel squeezed her eyes shut against the pain.

"Mel! Stay with me," he said urgently.

"A-Arthur," Mel swallowed painfully, tears streaming down her face, "we- we don't need –  _I am Merlin_ ,"

Mel's last few words were almost lost to unconsciousness claiming her. They had been barely audible, but Arthur had heard them loud and clear, and like a dagger, they pierced his heart.

Arthur let himself sink to the ground, forgetting for a moment where he was, who he was, who was laying beside him and what condition they were both in.

 _She – he's dying, who cares who the bloody hell she is, just save her!_  His rational mind tried to scream through the fog threatening to suffocate his will power.

Arthur's mind was on auto-pilot as he picked up Mel and mounted a horse. The other horse followed, eager to get away from the cave. The horses, being extremely thirsty, soon found a source of water large enough to accept the full size of Mel's body. Arthur carefully cradled her in his arms as he lowered Mel into the cool pool. In a daze, he watched as the water seemed to move of its own accord to surround her body. His mind numb, he barely registered that the angry red burns around her wrists and neck seemed to glow and disappear under the embrace of the water. Arthur's mind was saturated and now nothing would shock him. Everything felt so surreal.  _Numb._  He couldn't even feel relief that Merlin really  _wasn't_  back at Camelot, dying of a sickness. Because if Arthur could let that knowledge relieve him, it meant he accepted it as true. And he could not do that.

Because then, Merlin would have magic, and that betrayal was too great for his heart to stand.

 _Numb_.

Arthur wasn't sure how long he stood in the pool, or for how long he held the woman in the water. His world had turned into one large confusing blur.

_I am Arthur, Crowned Prince of Camelot. This woman is a sorceress, and may or may not actually be Merlin, who is therefore also sorcerer._

Arthur frowned and the rational part of his mind came crashing back to him. If Mel was who she claimed to be, and Merlin really  _wasn't_  dying in Camelot, then…

What the hell was the point of their quest?

Instead of subjecting his tired brain to another round of internal arguing and questioning, Arthur decided to ignore his thoughts and focus on the health of the woman in his arms. That was simple. Trying to solve the identity crisis and make sense of his situation was far too complicated a task for Arthur's fatigued mind.

After another few minutes of being enveloped by water and his innate healing magic, Merlin was recovered. Arthur was truly amazed. Mel's pale cheeks were rosy with colour, and the irritated red burn scars had been reduced to bracelets and a necklace of pink. Arthur allowed himself to feel just a little bit jealous. Super healing powers would be invaluable to any person, especially Knights of Camelot.

Deciding that Mel had been in the water long enough, and wanting to avoid adding hypothermia to her list of maladies, Arthur lifted her out of the water and placed her gently against a nearby tree. He gave Mel and the horses a once over, and then, without any hesitation, submitted to the sleep relentlessly tugging at his body and brain.


	9. Confessions

Merlin's mind was telling him to wake up, but he refused, if such a thing was possible. He didn't want to open his eyes to see a dark cave covered in jewels and dead unicorns and nymphs and all types of magical beings. That man had been  _sick_. His collection had maliciously and prematurely robbed life the magical world, only to leave it trapped in death inside a hostile environment. It made Merlin sick to think about. And worse yet, the sorcerer had most likely re-consolidated Arthur's conditioned fear of magic.

 _Maybe it would be better for me to just lie here in this cave and die of my wounds_ , he thought sadly. The look of absolutely betrayal, laced with the tiniest hint of fear, held in Arthur's eyes did not sit well with Merlin.

 _You're not in the cave anymore. Open your eyes and look around_.

Merlin gave a quiet shaky sigh and obeyed his mind. Relief slowly soothed the nausea in his stomach when he realized that one, he was indeed out of the dreaded place, and two, that his body was miraculously healed. Gone was the inflamed agony circling his neck and wrists. Gone was the fatigue that had made him dizzy. Even the pain in his thigh had disappeared. Merlin knew he had both Arthur and his own magic to thank for that. The dread in his heart was somewhat lessened upon realizing that Arthur helped him survive.  _But maybe only to kill me later?_  Merlin told his mind to shut the hell up.

A moment of self-checking and severe disappointment revealed that no, his gender mishap had not been cured along with his wounds. He would still have to surrender his mind to Tenaya to heal that particular mistake.

It was mid-afternoon, by the looks of it. Sun was streaming in through the trees, its rays bouncing off the clear pool of water a few feet in front of where he sat. The horses slept nearby, relieving their exhaustion.  _This place is beautiful_.

A subtle clearing of a man's throat shattered Merlin's appreciation of his surroundings and summoned back all of Merlin's the worry and stress.  _Arthur_. He was sitting with his back against a tree trunk about five feet away from Merlin, near the horses.

Slowly, Merlin turned his head to meet Arthur's eyes. He almost recoiled. There was  _nothing_  in them. He had expected confusion, pain, and betrayal, like he had seen in the cave. No emotion whatsoever leaked through his blue eyes. The other man seemed to be more tired than anything else. Merlin knew that his own eyes were filled with fear, regret and guilt.

Arthur's mouth seemed to struggle for a moment as he decided on how to open up the conversation. He had a thousand questions to ask, but did not know where to begin. He knew though, that he wanted to deal with the simplest questions first, and procrastinate breaching the subject of Merlin's magic.

"Why are we here?" he said, voice flat.

Merlin's eyes widened. To start at such a place meant that Arthur had already accepted Mel's identity to be fabricated.

Merlin sighed. "I… I talk in my sleep," he replied, his voice shaking. He cleared his throat and ignored Arthur's piercing look. "Three days ago I woke up as a female, without any clue as to how I'd done it or how to reverse it," he chanced a look at Arthur. Astonishingly, the man appeared to be struggling not to laugh.

"Are you serious," he asked, his voice strained. Arthur now had no doubt that this woman sitting in front of him was really his idiot manservant. He struggled to keep the corners of his mouth down as he imagined Merlin's first few moments as a girl. He gasped and his eyes widened. "That explains why you ran away from – from seeing me naked and," - he froze and his fists clenched the soil beneath them – "I kissed you!"

Merlin felt his face heat up. He averted his eyes from Arthur's shocked ones.

"Why – why didn't you tell me, two nights ago!" Arthur was assuming that a whole night had passed in the cave, putting that much time in between now and his heated session with Mel in the forest. Mortification and embarrassment sat like a stone in his stomach. He had been kissing  _Merlin_  the entire time!

"I tried to! I said stop, but you wouldn't listen, and then when you finally did, and I almost told you the truth, I –"

"You passed out," Arthur finished for him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again.

"And in Gaius's office? Why not tell me then?"

Merlin shook his head and buried his face in his hands. "I – I don't know! It was all happening so fast – and if I  _had_  told you, you would never have come with me on this quest!"

Arthur's curiousity buried his embarrassment. "And I ask again, why the hell are we here? If Merlin," he gave a punctuated sigh and gestured towards him, "if  _you_  are not sick in bed in Camelot, then what's the reason behind this quest?"

Merlin gestured to his body. "To fix this," he said.

"How?"

Merlin sighed again. He was about to reveal another secret to Arthur, and was unsure how it would be accepted. "There was only place I could go for help, only one being that could offer a solution to my stupidity," said Merlin.

Arthur's curiousity peaked despite himself. "Who?"

Merlin chewed on his lip. How much truth could Arthur handle?

"Merlin, who did you ask?" A growing sense of foreboding in Arthur's gut told him that he would not like Merlin's answer. Well, it wasn't like he wasn't used to that feeling by now.

"Kilgarrah. He's a – he's the dragon that's been imprisoned below the castle since the Great Purge," he said, his voice cautious.

A tense silence followed. Arthur almost felt like laughing. Surely this was a joke, and Mel was just a  _very_  good story teller, and Merlin really  _was_  back at home, and obviously there was no dragon beneath the castle!

Arthur's silence spurred Merlin to keep talking.

"Uther captured and chained him there twenty years ago. And," Merlin swallowed nervously, "ever since I came to Camelot, I've been seeking his guidance. Though," Merlin snorted and rolled his eyes, "he can be annoyingly cryptic." He paused and waited for Arthur to say something. It seemed that either Arthur was having a heart attack, if the throbbing vein in the man's temple was any indication, or he was actually letting Merlin continue with his answer. "After he laughed at me for about five minutes, he told me if I sought out the sorceress Tenaya in the Eastern Mountains, she would open my mind and might revive whatever spell I cast upon myself,"

Arthur snapped to attention at Merlin's story. A sorceress would have to delve into Merlin's mind?

"But," Merlin continued, uneasy now, "Kilgarrah said that my mind would have to stronger than hers, or else… or else I'd be her captive and – well, you get the rest."

Arthur glared at Merlin. "No, I don't get it. I don't get any of it." In his anger Arthur moved nearer to Merlin, looking only at his blue eyes to avoid looking at the rest of the body. "Why the hell didn't you ever tell me you're a sorcerer?"

Merlin backed up slightly against the tree trunk, suddenly afraid of how close Arthur was. He knew thought that he had to stand his ground. Sensing that Merlin was weak and afraid would only aggravate Arthur's character more, and Merlin could  _not_  afford sending him away. He would need all the help he could get in staying strong against the sorceress that would soon pry his mind open.

"You would have ordered my death under Uther's rule," he said, desperately hoping that reality did not wait for him once they returned to Camelot.

"And what makes you so sure that still won't happen?"

Merlin's heart and stomach plummeted. "You – you said the other day that you felt like someone was always there in the sidelines, protecting you and making sure everything worked out – that was me, every time!" He was breathing heavier now, desperately needing Arthur to believe him, to  _trust_  that he had always used his magic for good. "I never,  _never_  used my magic to endanger you, or threaten you or - " Merlin was nearly choking on his frustration – "I've had to hide from you all this time who I really am! I've had to stand by and watch as Uther condemned and murdered innocent people just because of their choice to practice magic! And me, I wasn't even  _given_  that choice! I was born like this! And I know you're going to say that's impossible, but I'm living proof that it  _is_  possible!" Merlin stopped to exhale a shaky breath. Everything he had been wanting tell Arthur was coming out in a rushed confession. His mouth wasn't moving as fast as his mind.

Arthur sat back on his heels, giving Merlin some much needed space. The confession seemed to vibrate in the air, tense and in desperate need of Arthur's acknowledgment. He sat in stunned silence as Merlin sighed and collected himself.

"Back when we were in Ealdor, you asked me why I'd left. I said it was because things had changed, I didn't fit in anymore," his eyes met Arthur's. "Will was never the sorcerer, I was. He sacrificed himself to protect you and me. My mother was furious when he found out about me because it meant that one more person knew that my very birthright was a death sentence. I… I had to leave. It was horrible and tense and – and - "

"And Camelot's been better than that? Where everyday you're surrounded by the very hands of Uther's laws against magic?" Arthur couldn't understand how a small village could be less hostile than Camelot for someone like Merlin.

"Gaius took me in at my mother's request. She knew he wouldn't condemn me. He's protected me, while I've had to struggle each day not to make stupid mistakes," Merlin said, ignoring the irony of his current situation. "He's taught me so much. He's taught me how to control my birthright, how to use it properly so that I can protect you for your enemies!" Merlin's voice grew intense as he urged Arthur to see how much he'd given up for the Prince, how much he  _cared_  for his life.

"My destiny is to protect you, Arthur, so that you can one day be the greatest King this land has ever known," Merlin said quietly. "I'm sorry that you had to find out this way, and I'm sorry that we're here right now, and in this mess." Merlin gave a tired chuckle as he looked down at his female body. "I may be a powerful sorcerer, but I still make mistakes just like everybody else."

Arthur snorted. "Clearly," he said.

Merlin looked at Arthur, searching his eyes for any kind of answer to his confessions. He swallowed past the dry lump in his throat. "What… how do you feel? About - about this?"  _About me?_

Arthur sighed and sat cross-legged. He rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I know it's a lot to take in at once, and I'm sorry for that," Merlin said timidly. The fact that Arthur had not bolted, or slayed him, made Merlin immensely hopeful about his immediate future.

"Right now Merlin, I don't know what to think. I feel like I don't even know you anymore," he said. "One thing I do know is that you're a far better actor and liar than I ever thought possible."

Merlin grimaced. "I had to lie about my magic until I felt it was safe to tell you," he said.

"Yeah? And when was that going to be?"

"When I was confident that you weren't going to have me killed! It doesn't matter anymore," Merlin said, suddenly tired of this whole conversation.

Arthur shot Merlin a glare. He rose to stand up. "Well it matters to me!" he shouted. "You didn't trust me! How can _I_  trust you, now that I know you were  _lying_ to me this whole time! You – I _cared_  for you! And not just as Mel, but as - " Arthur broke off, his mouth firm. He went over to the horses.

Panic swelled in Merlin. Arthur couldn't leave! "No, no Arthur, please, don't leave! I'm sorry! You have to understand why I couldn't tell you!" He got up and stumbled over to Arthur, his muscles still weak from their ordeal in the caves. Without thinking, he put both hands on Arthur's upper arm in a desperate attempt to stop his escape.

Arthur whipped around and threw Merlin's hands off him, disgust written on his face. "Don't touch me!"

"Please,  _please_  don't leave, I can't – I can't face her on my own!" Merlin felt disgusted with himself, to be admitting such weakness to Arthur, but he had no choice now. If Arthur couldn't trust him, maybe he could pity him. Tears welled up in Merlin's eyes. "I'll be vulnerable to anything kept in her caves!

"I don't care!" Arthur lied. His anger at being betrayed for so long and the shock at having learned both Merlin's magical nature  _and_  Mel's true identity sapped at his strength and desire to remain in Merlin's company.

Merlin balked at Arthur. He wanted to ask Arthur how he could say such a thing, when Merlin had come to Arthur's aid so many times in the past. But his mouth wasn't working. He stared in shock as Arthur mounted a horse. Without a second glance back, Arthur left.

_No! How could he leave?_

This was worse than anything else,  _anything_  that had thus far victimized Merlin. Arthur knew what was at stake, knew that Merlin had risked his own life for Arthur in the past, yet he had still left.

Merlin collapsed to the ground. Did he deserve this? Would Merlin stay to protect Arthur, if their situations were reversed?

Which truth had caused Arthur to leave?

Merlin cradled his head in his hands. He supposed he could be thankful that Arthur had least left behind Merlin's horse.

* * *

Arthur urged his horse on for half an hour before guilt, regret and shame finally stopped him. He couldn't shake from his vision how pale Mel's –  _Merlin's_  – face had turned when Arthur had moved to untie his horse, how Merlin's strength had seemingly evaporated when Arthur had claimed he didn't care about his future. His courageous side worthy of being Prince was in disbelief – how could he have left a woman alone in the forest like that? Especially when that woman was really someone he deeply cared for.

And hadn't Merlin said that his mind had to be superior in strength to that of a powerful sorceress? Worse yet, Merlin had said that the sorceress's cave would be armed with hostile creatures intent on taking advantage of Merlin's vulnerability.

 _I really am a prat_ , Arthur thought weakly.

The betrayal behind Merlin's secrets seemed like nothing compared to what Arthur had done by leaving.

A headache throbbed into life in his right temple. Arthur tugged on the reigns of his horse, directing it to face the direction from whence they had just come. The horse gave an annoyed huff and pawed at the ground, as if to say 'Make up your goddamned mind, you annoying human!'

Arthur patted the horse's neck. "Sorry, I've made a mistake,"

The horse gave another huff. 'No shit,'

* * *

Merlin hadn't managed to get very far by the time he heard horse hooves. Panic flared in his heart – who would it be this time? An image of the tiny sorcerer who had capture him flared in his mind. He shook his head violently –  _No, he's dead. Cenrid then?_  Merlin wasn't sure if he was still even in Cenrid's Kingdom.

The horse hooves grew louder. Merlin dismounted from his own horse and prepared his mind and body for impending attack.

Arthur crashed through the trees and commanded his horse to stop feet from Merlin. Within a second he had dismounted and had caught Merlin in a fierce embrace. He buried his face in his long dark hair.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I don't – I don't know what came over me," he said in a rushed voice. He squeezed Merlin's small body close to his, trying to make him feel how sorry he was, how much he regretted leaving him alone in the forest.

Merlin was so shocked and relieved at Arthur's return that he said nothing. He couldn't. It all felt… too fragile. As if, if he spoke or moved, Arthur's resolve would break and he would run away again, leaving Merlin even more broken than before. Suspicion clouded Merlin's relief. He had to make sure this even  _was_ Arthur, and not a disguised minion of the Trinket Man set on getting revenge.

Arthur backed away from Merlin, sensing his tension. His eyes searched Merlin's. "Aren't – aren't you glad to see me?"

Merlin's eyes narrowed. "How did I become your manservant?"

Arthur blanched. "What? Merlin! Don't you believe it's me?"

"No, I don't! You were so keen just an hour ago of leaving me, of breaking our friendship! How am I to believe that - all of a sudden - you've changed your whole belief system and accepted me like nothing's happened?"

"But I've already -"

"Just answer the question! How did I become your servant?"

"You – you saved me from a witch's dagger! My Father rewarded you with the position as my servant," he said, eager to prove his identity.

Merlin regretted his question. It was too easy; everyone in the Kingdom knew the story. "Too general. What-"

Arthur rolled his eyes and re-mounted his horse. "Merlin, stop being such an idiot and get on your bloody horse! Or do you want to be stuck as a woman forever?"

Instantly Merlin felt more relieved. Only the real Arthur could be such a prat.


	10. Confidence Boosters

Merlin's lips twitched into a grin as he obeyed Arthur's orders and mounted his horse. For the first time in a long while, maybe since he could remember, Merlin felt at complete peace. He could forget for a moment that in his immediate future his mind would be probed and perhaps taken over by a sorceress, or that he  _would_  permanently be stuck in female form (not that he minded – Arthur seemed to prefer him this way). The burden of keeping from Arthur the secret of his magic had been lifted. His heart physically felt lighter. He no longer had to lie or hide his true nature. Of course he couldn't go parading around Camelot, flicking his wrists and performing magic publicly, but all the same, Merlin felt his bond with Arthur was much tighter now that everything was out in the open. Merlin had dreaded Arthur's reaction, and indeed the Prince had reacted as badly as Merlin had assumed he would, but then… he had come back and apologized. And Arthur had  _hugged_ him. That action, more than any other, strengthened not only the bond between them, but Merlin's own feelings for the man. Merlin glanced at Arthur, wondering if he was feeling or thinking the same things. On the surface Arthur looked calm and ready to accept Merlin's reality. Merlin broke eye contact. He wasn't quite sure whether he could trust Arthur's sudden acceptance. He tried to stifle the suspicion slowly creeping up his throat, tried not to question Arthur's return or his feelings. Tried not to ruin their companionable silence.

"If we're lucky, we'll reach the Eastern Mountains by nightfall," Arthur said, nodding his head forwards. "Then it'll be up to you to direct us."

Merlin nodded. "I'll probably be able to feel her magic pulling me in the right direction," he said. It felt so surreal, being able to admit something like that to Arthur out loud.

"What will that feel like?" Arthur asked, sounding mystified.

Merlin gave a light shrug. "It feels like – like a pulling sensation in your gut. Like a physical calling, that you can't really ignore. It's actually a bit irritating,"

Arthur quirked an eyebrow. "Do you always feel that? When a sorcerer is near?" Merlin was like a living alarm system!

Merlin shook his head. "No, not always. Only when they have very powerful magic. And if they're somehow masking it to remain hidden, then I can't feel them at all. Which is probably most of the time," Merlin explained. So many sorcerers had entered Camelot's doors without him sensing it. Either that meant they had all been weak, or powerful enough to disguise their magical signatures. He couldn't recall ever have sensed Nimueh's magic when she had infiltrated the kingdom, all that time ago.

"Hm," Arthur muttered. He regarded Merlin with calculating eyes, as if seeing him for the first time. Heck, he was still struggling to accept that this woman riding beside him - this woman he had  _kissed_  and held lust for - really was Merlin. "So hopefully this sorceress wants to be found then."

"She'll probably sense me first," Merlin replied. "Its how the Trinket Man found us, no doubt. I haven't learnt yet how to mask my magic."

Arthur's eyebrows furrowed. The Trinket Man, as Merlin had so dubbed him, had said that Merlin's, or Emrys's, magic was unrivalled. The person riding next to him, who was always so clumsy, apparently had stores of untapped magical powers, ready to be explored and harnessed. And Arthur had never known or even suspected it.

Arthur shivered. No, he thought, Merlin was not someone to piss off.

Merlin gave a short laugh. "She probably won't be able to resist the chance to capture the mind of the Great Emrys," he said bitterly, wrapping his Druid title in a slightly sarcastic drawl. Really, he thought, everyone was placing him on such a high pedestal. It was a bit unfair. If he was honest with himself though, Merlin could give himself some credit. It had to have taken a very powerful incantation to change one's gender so convincingly and for such a sustained period. And, he was only on this quest because the counter-spell was in none of Gaius's books. And Gaius had hundreds of books.

Arthur stopped himself from asking if his friend was nervous about facing the sorceress. The Prince was nervous just thinking about Merlin facing her.

The two companions rode in a comfortable silence for the rest of the afternoon, punctuated when Arthur would recall an event or conversation from the past in which he had been confused about the outcome. Merlin would then reveal how he had used his talents in whatever situation they were discussing, and all mysteries were cleared up.

"So then, when we first met – and you said that you could take me apart with less than one blow – you weren't joking," Arthur said, his eyes light at the memory.

Merlin laughed (a novel sound in his new feminine body). "Oh I meant it alright. I wanted to wipe that smirk off your face and teach you a lesson, but obviously I couldn't."

Arthur shook his head and grinned. "I always wondered about the reasoning behind that threat."

Merlin's horse suddenly stopped and whinnied. Its nostrils flared and it became restless, pawing at the ground. Arthur's horse then grew restless too, flicking its head back, almost causing its rider to fall off.

"Woah there, what's the matter with you?" Arthur demanded, trying to reign in his horse.

"Hmm," Merlin closed his eyes, his mouth pulled in a frown and his eyebrows furrowed. He could feel it, the pull of the sorceress. "We're close," he stated. "I can feel it. I can feel her."  _That means she can feel_ me _too._  His skin tingled in response to the magic ebbing in the air.

Arthur struggled to calm his horse. "Alright, alright! You can stay here."

Merlin dismounted from his restless steed. "They can sense her too, and they don't like it."  _I can't blame them_. If Merlin really concentrated, he sensed something a bit off about the magical pull. It beckoned him forth, no doubt, but without a promise of return. Nervousness made his throat dry and his stomach coil. He very much hoped that Tenaya would let  _them_ come to  _her_ ; if she sought him out now, mentally unprepared and still a bit shaken from the day's events, he would not retain his sanity for long.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!"

Merlin rolled his eyes and grinned. He was suddenly extremely glad for Arthur's presence.

"It's getting dark anyways. We should find some food and get some rest," Arthur suggested. He dislodged his cross-bow from the pack on his horse.

"I'll stay here and set up camp," Merlin called after him. Arthur replied with a wave of his hand. He was then swallowed up by the trees.

"Won't be gone long!"

Merlin winced. Arthur had definitely just jinxed himself.

Much to Merlin's immense relief, Arthur came back within about twenty minutes, time in which Merlin had conjured a fire and arranged a make-shift sleeping area.

Arthur made quick work of skinning the two rabbits he had caught. As the cooked over the fire, Arthur stared at Merlin. He was really quite beautiful as a girl. His pale skin seemed to glow in the firelight, as did his blue eyes. His hair fell in long, thick brown waves.

Merlin felt himself blush as Arthur stared. "What?" he mumbled, his eyes locked on the cooking rabbits.

Arthur shrugged and grinned. "You should just stay as a girl, Merlin, the form quite suits you."

Merlin pouted and threw a stick at Arthur, who laughed and caught it.

"Don't be so selfish you prat," Merlin said. "I was quite happy being a man, thanks."

Merlin then gasped, realizing something. "Oh no!"

Arthur was at once at attention, throwing away the stick. "What? What's wrong?"

"I – I didn't bring a change of clothes! For when I change back!"

Arthur's eyelids fell. "Really, Merlin? You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Well I can't travel back to Camelot in a man's body dressed as a girl!"

"God, you really  _are_  a girl,"

Merlin rolled his eyes at the weak come-back.

"Alright, you can borrow something of mine," the Prince said, pretending to be extremely annoyed at the hardship involved in sharing.

To break the lingering awkward atmosphere, Merlin stooped forward next to the fire to check on the rabbits. "Dinner's ready," he announced, relieved. One's mood, no matter how sour, could always be improved by a good meal.

Arthur "hmmed" in acknowledgement. He didn't take his eyes off of Merlin's body while he prepared the rabbits for eating. It was hypnotizing, the way the fire danced on his pale skin, casting the desirable form of his servant in tantalizing shadows. Arthur wanted Merlin to win against the sorcerer the next day, surely, but he would lying to himself if he wanted Merlin to success in regaining his original masculinity.

"Merlin," Arthur mumbled after a while.

"Hm?"

"How… how confident are you that tomorrow you'll regain your normal body?"

Merlin frowned, reading Arthur's expression. His face was open, conveying much and little at the same time. He seemed though to want an honest answer. Merlin sighed and handed a serving of rabbit to Arthur, mulling over his answer.

"If you would have asked me a few hours ago, right after you'd left, I would have said not very confident." In the corner of his eye he saw Arthur wince, guilt flashing across his face. "But now, I'm feeling a lot better. I think I can win this thing," he said, grinning, his mood lifting. A true spark of hope rose in him, just from hearing himself express confidence, even though he could feel the strong pull of strange magic at his skin.

The Prince nodded and looked down, meeting the fire. His cheeks were lightly stained with a blush and his teeth worried at his bottom lip. "That's good, then," he mumbled.

Merlin frowned, eyebrows furrowing, not understanding Arthur's behaviour. He would eat and wait for Arthur to continue the conversation. In his slight disappointment Arthur as well started his dinner.

After a while, when the fire had flickered down somewhat, and both were full and content, Arthur spoke again.

"Merlin," he said, moving over to sit next to him.

Merlin turned and was slightly caught off-guard at how brilliantly blue Arthur's eyes were with the firelight shining in them. His chest felt slightly tight suddenly.

"Mmhmm?"

Arthur swallowed and his eyes glanced downward at Merlin's legs, covered loosely by her torn dress. Merlin froze as he placed a warm hand on his knee.

Arthur seemed to struggle for the right words for a minute, mouth opening and closing a few times to start a sentence, then shutting closed. His shoulders slumped and he blew out a breath of frustration.

"I've always been crap at this…" he mumbled.

A short giggle fell through of Merlin's lips. He gasped and brought a hand to his mouth, grinning. "Sorry!" He felt very giddy all of a sudden. He definitely wasn't used to the highly variable emotions and hormone levels of his new female body.

Arthur shot him a glare, but kept his hand on Merlin's knee. "Just because it's you,  _Merlin_ , I'll let that slide." He sighed again, bringing the tone back down.

Merlin placed a delicate hand on top of Arthur's. He swallowed past a dry throat, finally picking up on what the man was trying to convey, and why Arthur had earlier asked him about his confidence level. "You were always better at wooing girls with actions, not words." His heart was beating rapidly in his chest, almost choking off his words.

Wide blue eyes shot up to his. A furious blush stained Arthur's cheeks. "Uh – I… yeah," he agreed, stammering. "I just – if you're never going to be in this form again- "

"Let's hope so," Merlin snorted quietly.

"Well, I just wanted to… appreciate it fully," Arthur finished, flushing furiously.

Merlin swallowed nervously and looked away from Arthur's piercing eyes. Arthur was trying to seduce him, to maybe even make love to him, but it wasn't with  _Merlin_ , it was with his female body. "It's just… it's just this body, right? That you want?"

Unable to stop himself, Arthur's eyes scanned the dimly lit feminine features presented in front of him. Even clothed Merlin's gender switched physique made his heart race. But he had never been attracted to Merlin as a man. He couldn't lie to Merlin. But maybe…

Arthur sighed and dipped his head forward, almost pressing their foreheads together. He gave a gentle squeeze on Merlin's knee. "I can't compare this to anything else. My whole brain is addled. It's true, I've never wanted you before you looked like this," he admitted, gesticulating to her curves. He shrugged. "And I can't say how I'll feel when you change back, but…" Arthur cupped Merlin's cool cheeks in his hands and leaned in close. "I care about you, Merlin. Really, I do."

Merlin gasped, a shaky trembling sigh that fell out of his lips. Tears pricked at his eyes and he laughed shakily, clearing his throat. "D-damn these hormones…" With a trembling finger Merlin wiped away the pooling tears. Hearing Arthur admit he cared about him had been like a sudden warm embrace of his heart. The confession was what Merlin had been secretly wanting to hear for so long. "Thank you," he whispered, grinning. "I can definitely beat Tenaya now."

Arthur snorted. "Good, because I'm never saying something so horribly corny ever again."

And if words could have such an effect on Merlin, then actions would speak even louder to his confidence. Tentatively he wrapped his arms around Arthur's neck, pulling him in closer. "Show me then," he whispered boldly.

Mindful of her injury, Arthur lay Merlin down to lie on her back. They stayed near the fire for illumination and warmth. It was true; Arthur had always been crap at seducing the women in his life, but with the woman in his arms now, it was different. Easy, comfortable. It had been easy before when he hadn't even known her true identity. Holding the knowledge that this raven haired beauty was really his most trusted companion slid all the pieces together. There was no embarrassment, hesitation or awkwardness as he hovered over her. His instincts demanded full attention, promising fulfillment.  _You belong here_.

To Merlin the experience was especially charged. Above him hovered Arthur, his Prince, his fierce friend with whom he shared a strong bond. He couldn't lie to himself; a part of him had always wanted to achieve this level of connection with the man. He almost chuckled to himself at how magically screwing himself over had been the catalyst. It comforted Merlin that Arthur didn't appear nervous or hesitant.

A soft sigh escaped Merlin when their lips touched. He pulled Arthur closer to him, letting the tips of his fingers pull at the blonde hair. Arthur's body was pressed flush with Merlin's. Merlin broke from the kiss and peered down at his chest.

"Never going to get used to that…" His breasts acted as a cushiony barrier between Arthur and himself, instead of two hard chests pressed together.

"Hopefully you won't have to," Arthur murmured before capturing her lips again. He coaxed apart Merlin's lips, pushing his tongue inside her mouth. A soft moan vibrated in her throat and he felt fingers tugging at his hair. He slid both hands up her dress, skirting over her thighs to rest on her full hips. He felt himself grow hard and groaned low in his throat. He broke the kiss to hastily remove his shirts and unbuckle his pants. "Can you…?"

Merlin nodded and sat up to remove his clothing, not taking his eyes off of Arthur's exposed chest. His toned muscles looked golden in the firelight. Undressed and naked before Arthur, Merlin blushed and looked away as Arthur practically drooled.

Arthur wanted to say so many things, like how beautiful she was, what and how he wanted to pleasure her. But again, he had never been the best with communication.  _Show me…_ And besides, he didn't trust his voice.

He started by pressing open mouthed kisses to her soft skin. Every kiss summoned a soft whimper, or moan, spurring Arthur on more. He fell between her legs and she hugged him to her. He shifted downwards to kiss her breasts. She shuddered in pleasure.

"I never knew they could be so sensitive," Merlin breathed, voice trembling.

"Mmhmm," Arthur murmured, mouth otherwise occupied. He paid each breast equal amounts of attention, licking and sucking on each nipple until it hardened, leaving Merlin quivering.

Unconsciously Merlin opened his legs wider, letting Arthur settle further into his chest. Arthur's stomach was cool compared to the heat pooling in his groin.

Merlin groaned somewhat impatiently, a burst of lust hitting him, and he tugged Arthur up, crashing their lips together, instantly changing the mood from sensual to sinful. Arthur was more than receptive, groaning loudly as he devoured her mouth, intertwining their tongues.

Arthur bucked his hips against Merlin's groin and she wrapped her legs tightly against his middle. He snapped from the kiss to hastily remove the rest of his clothing, panting.

"Arthur, please," Merlin panted, groaning. He threw his head back and scratched at Arthur's warm skin, urging him forward. It was strange; whereas normally he would be hard as rock, his arousal evident as Arthur's was, now a warm wetness pooled out of his throbbing groin. He had the strangest sensation, a need even, to be filled.

"Y-yeah," Arthur breathed, voice husky. He kissed her as he pushed into her warm heat, swallowing her moan of pleasure and echoing with his own. He had to break away from the kiss just to breathe, turning his head to the side. "Oh… Oh God," he moaned.

Merlin squeezed his eyes shut and tried to breathe through the strange feeling of pleasurable pain. He could feel Arthur hard and hot inside of him, new and foreign and completely unthinkable. His hips twitched involuntarily and he whimpered, on the edge of pain and pleasure.

Arthur rested his weight on his elbows, his face hovering above hers. "Are you okay?" he breathed.

Eyes still closed, Merlin nodded. He let his legs fall from Arthur's back, knees hugging loosely hugging him. "Move," he hissed.

Slowly Arthur began to thrust, pulling out halfway, quickly moving back in. It was unbelievably good and he knew he wouldn't last long. Sweat pooled on his brow from the heat of the fire and his controlled thrusts.

"God Merlin, this feels… you feel amazing," Arthur moaned. His mouth fell open and he gasped as he quickened the pace of his hips, driving into Merlin harder and deeper. The sound of Merlin's moans changed, now more high-pitched and drawn out. Merlin's eyes shot open; with the change of angle every thrust Arthur made sent hot flames of pleasure into Merlin's very core.

Arthur looked at Merlin and his eyes widened. "Gold," he panted. "Your eyes…"

"Yeah," Merlin breathed. His head fell back, hitting the dirt and he moaned. "Oh God, Arthur, harder…" He wrapped his legs around Arthur's backside, locking his ankles together. He met every one of Arthur's thrusts with his own, bucking his hips off the ground.

Arthur gripped her thighs, digging his fingers into the pale flesh, and slammed into her, making her cry out in pleasure. Eyes widening in shock he froze, trembling and whimpering.

"I'm – I'm close," he choked out. His hips twitched against Merlin, no rhythm to his shuddered movements. Only the fact that he was having sex with a female, at the height of her fertility, was in his mind, disregarding the completely unique situation. The Prince of Camelot couldn't just –

"Not going to matter, remember?" Merlin panted, reading Arthur's mind and body language. Now he had even more incentive to change back into a male – to avoid unwanted pregnancies. Not that he wouldn't be absolutely willing to bear Arthur children, but obviously he couldn't because for one thing, he was supposed to be  _male_ , two his political position in Camelot was unacceptable for royal offspring, and three, he was  _a sorcerer_.

The message seemed to click and Arthur groaned, thrusting into Merlin with complete abandon. With the few girls he's made love to before he'd always had to pull out just before climaxing. With every thrust Merlin cried out, voice high pitched and choked, head arched back into the ground.

One last hard thrust sent Arthur pitching forward, mouth open in a silent scream as his orgasm erupted through into the wet heat engulfing him. A second later, Merlin let out a long, whine of pleasure, and they both collapsed, limp with post-coital endorphins.

After a few minutes their breathing had returned to normal, if only slightly rough sounding. Arthur leaned back, peeling his slightly sweaty chest off of Merlin's. He laughed slightly; long strands of black hair were strewn about her face, her cheeks were tomato red and her forehead was shiny with sweat. She opened her eyes and all Arthur could think was  _God Merlin is beautiful_. The eyes, though attached to a different body, were the same as when he was a man. Arthur focused all his attention on just looking at those blue eyes, gold having faded away, ignoring the rest of his altered physique.

Yes, he definitely wanted to see that look in Merlin's eyes again.

Gently he pushed away some of the strands of hair from Merlin's flushed face. She pressed a soft kiss to his nose and smiled.

"Thank you Arthur," Merlin whispered. "I'm definitely going to win now."

Arthur smiled and kissed her back. "And I definitely want to do that again."

Merlin blushed. "Now?"

Arthur shook his head, smile fading into a more serious expression. "No, later."

Merlin's heart skipped a beat. "Like, in the morning?"

The blonde's eyes rolled and he shook his head. "Do I have to spell it out for you?"

"But… we can't really…"

Arthur kissed the rest of her sentence away. "We'll figure it out."

Merlin felt like his own happiness was going to choke him. He hugged Arthur close and kissed his neck.

"It'll be your reward for after facing the sorceress," Arthur mumbled.

Merlin laughed. "Oh she has no chance, now."


	11. Relief

Hot man lemon in this chapter. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: BBC owns the rights to their rendition of Merlin and Prince Arthur, on which this fanfiction is based.

~FINAL CHAPTER~

The cave was similar to all the others they had visited before, in search of magic or otherwise. It was a damp, muddy hole embedded into the side of the southern-most mountain.

With each foot of lessened distance Merlin's discomfort grew. It was too soon to be trapped again in a sorcerer's cave.  _Why are we all so reclusive?_ Merlin made an oath to himself then and there that he would never dwell in a muddy hole, no matter how many people hunted for his hide. He just strongly hoped that he would see no parts of corpses in the cave. Any remnants of the Tinkerman's cave would be a huge knife in Merlin's still fresh wound of vulnerability.

From the pull at his gut Merlin could tell that this would be no easy fight. Tenaya's was the strongest magic he had yet encountered. It left a bad taste in his mouth and turned his guts to serpents.

Arthur caught the grimace on Merlin's feminine face. They stopped walking, about one hundred paces from the entrance to the cave. He put a hand on his companion's arm, opened his mouth, about to offer  _something_  to ease Merlin's mind; there wasn't any time.

Merlin gasped and his eyes widened, gold churning with blue. "Aaaah," he moaned. Hands flew to his temples and his eyes shut.

"What? Merlin, what is it?"

"Hmmmm," Merlin groaned again. "She's – she's already in my head."

_Emrys…_

_Curious, that you would show yourself before me, when having never before done so, in this form…_

Merlin took two deep breaths, trying to remain calm. If it was possible, his mind was burning.

"Are you okay?"

Arthur's voice was faint, as if the words had to travel a great distance to reach Merlin's ears. He felt himself nodding.

_And who is your companion? Uther Pendragon's son? Even more curious._

Yes, Tenaya had infiltrated his mind, but…

"She doesn't seem hostile," Merlin mumbled.  _Yet._

Nodding in resolution, Arthur gripped Merlin's arm and began walking them forward to the cave. "Best get this over with before she changes her tune."

"Keep holding my arm. It's an anchor," Merlin said, trying to keep his voice calm.

Everything was fuzzy and blurred, the cave just appearing to Merlin as a huge brown and green blob in his vision. His mind was being torn in three different directions: reality, Tenaya's voice and random flashbacks to his past. Visions flew behind his eyes in quick succession, betraying earlier days; leaving home, the anxious journey to Camelot, his reluctant acceptance of his post near the Prince, Camelot again, Will –  _no, no please it's too painful_ – being pelted with vegetables in the stocks – here he felt a flash of annoyance from the mind controller –  _Oh Emrys, how could they treat you so?_  –  _No, don't punish Arthur, he didn't know – That is no concern of yours, I shall do with him what I please – If you hurt him I'll –_

"We're here," came a distant voice from his left.

Wyverns greeted them at the entrance, two bristling cousins of dragons. Baring their teeth they growled and paced, unsure of how to treat these newcomers. Before their master inside could decide, Merlin summoned enough concentration to command the sentinels to back off. The magical energy sustaining his dragontongue was older than anything Tenaya could use.

Beside Merlin, Arthur could only stare in amazement and slight disbelief as he listened and watched as his manservant command these two foul creatures to clear the entrance. The words were old, surely vibrating with energy of life itself, almost shaking Arthur to his very core. The sounds left tingles on his skin. He wondered if Merlin required the presence of a dragon (or in this case a dragon-related) creature to speak the language; for some absolutely strange reason it left the Prince uncomfortably aroused, and he figured there weren't any dragons back home. Maybe it was the authority backing up the commands or the language itself, or the fact that Merlin was so brazenly displaying his powers as a sorceress, but – Arthur blinked rapidly, dispelling the distracting thoughts. Now was  _definitely_  not the time.

"Impressive," came a misty voice. "But then, this is Emrys after all."

They fully entered the musty cave. Arthur's hand craved to draw his sword, but he resisted. The weapons used in this battle were not of steel or metal, but of magic and energy. Quickly scanning the small room he saw no other creatures. Arthur didn't believe it for a second. He looked at Tenaya and couldn't stop his eyebrows from raising in slight disbelief. The witch's appearance did nothing to betray her supposed prowess as a magic user. Of course, he only had Nimueh, the Tinkerman and a few others to base his judgment on, but… Tenaya was small, thin, and dressed only in one simple black woolen tunic. Her hair was pulled back into a bun, revealing a kindly, round face.

For a moment no one said anything. Arthur's eyes dashed between the sorceress and Merlin, concern for Merlin's mental well-being written openly on his face. There was no sense hiding it now.

Tenaya wore a crooked smile and she beckoned Merlin forward. The young warlock looked almost blind now, his eyes shut almost fully, face pale, breath coming in gasps.

"I will not be so immature as the old one Kilgarrah, young Emrys," she said. She closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, smile falling off her face. "Your mistake will beg a deep price to fix."

Arthur stepped forward, mouth open.

Tenaya silenced him with a wave of her hand. "I do not mean gold, Pendragon. Nothing so material."

Her eyes hardened as gave her attention back to Merlin, who whimpered and fell to the ground on his knees. Arthur fell down with him, hand still bracing his arm but hopelessly knowing he had no way to protect his friend.

"Kilgarrah has told you of my ways, Emrys. If you are not strong enough of mind, then I shall do with you as I please." She stepped over Merlin, hands hovering around his crown. "I see that you have been through many hardships in your life. Most of them due to your companion…" she frowned, looking down at Arthur. "No, your… lover?"

Despite himself Arthur flushed. He stared resolutely into her piercing eyes, silently admitting his pride and love of Merlin. Tenaya paid little attention and focused back on Merlin.

_How could one so powerful make such an error? You are truly a young warlock, Emrys, with far too much power._

_So I've heard. Please… please help me reverse this._

_If I do, then the Prince will no longer love you. He will deny any attentions from your true form. Is that what you want?_

_No! Arthur will still love me. He will still want me, even as a man._

_Are you quite sure? I could delve into his mind as well to seek the truth. I do not think you would like it._

Merlin felt his mind falter.  _But…_  No, he couldn't listen to her. She was purposefully trying to weaken his resolve. He focused on wanting to remember the spell he had sleep-spoken four nights before.

_Please, please just help me remember. That's why I came here. Nothing else is your concern._

_And why even fall in love with the Young Pendragon? He is the enemy of your people, of me. He surely means you harm. You will see that once you return home._

Merlin groaned out loud in frustration. Distantly he felt the hand on his arm increase in pressure, anchoring him to reality.  _Arthur…_

_The Prince is a menace to our kind._

_No, Arthur is not his father. Uther has no mercy, but the Prince has shown that capacity. I've told him the truth about me, and still he stays with me!_

_He will betray you as soon as you reach Camelot. Uther will destroy you._

_No, that's not true!_

_Oh but it is, young one. Even you can see it. The nagging doubt seated in the forefront of your mind. Arthur's love for you is only for your female form. He will never truly want you or your magic. This love will disappear as soon as you change back. If you can, that is._

Merlin could feel, or almost see, a black cloud slowly seeping over every thought he had in retaliation.

_No… Arthur loves me! He would never betray me!_

Darkness infecting his every thought…

_He did so in the forest, just yesterday._

No room for any light…

_That was different, he was in shock, he –_

_He knew perfectly well what he had done, and he would easily do it again._

Watching Merlin was agonizing for Arthur. He could see the war happening on his face. He gripped Merlin's arm harder, desperate to do anything he could to help Merlin retain his sanity.

"Merlin! Merlin, it's Arthur! Whatever she's saying to you, it's not true!"

And suddenly, a brilliant bloom of bright, hopeful, clearing and desperately needed luminescence.

_A vague attempt to –_

_NO! ARTHUR LOVES ME, AND THERE IS NOTHING ELSE YOU CAN SAY TO BELITTLE THAT!_ Merlin was screaming now, the words hitting Tenaya's life force in his mind like a wall. With a spark of triumph he felt Tenaya's powers stumble, her competence in his mental tug of war faltering. Merlin grabbed at his chance, confidence resurfacing in his mind.

_You WILL help me remedy my situation! You're not taking my mind, or Arthur's._

There was silence for a moment. Merlin opened his eyes and looked across to the sorceress. She appeared slightly shocked at Merlin's resilience, even when his mind was so vulnerable. After a moment she offered a crooked smile and a short nod.

"Very well, Emrys. You have proven yourself worthy of my assistance. Fortunately I managed to catch a glimpse of the spell," she said gravely.

Merlin's heart leapt in his chest and his throat; it was an uncomfortable sensation to say the least. On one hand he was desperate to have his male body back, but on the other, he was keenly aware of the potential truth behind every revelation Tenaya had inflicted upon him. Arthur would most likely love Merlin much less as his quirky manservant than the seductive female version.

Tenaya's keen eyes narrowed. "Unless of course, you wish to remain in this form?"

"Merlin…" Arthur mumbled beside him, as if in warning against the stupid decision floating in Merlin's brain. "Please…"

Merlin met his Prince's eyes and after a moment was rewarded with what he needed; trust and assurance that, even though their newly strengthened bond had been catalyzed by Merlin's transformation, it would not dissolve afterward. Merlin nodded slightly, acknowledging the message blatant in Arthur's eyes, and turned his attention once more to the sorceress waiting in front of him.

"Do it, please," he whispered.

The sorceress gave a nod and raised her hands. Merlin inhaled deeply, nerves making his stomach churn, and closed his eyes. He just hoped it would be over quick.

Merlin collapsed in Arthur's arms, fainting as power surged through his body. Arthur couldn't say how the transformation had happened exactly; Merlin's female form had sort of melted away to reveal his natural male body. Needless to say, his manservant's clothing was now completely inappropriate.

He heard a long-suffering sigh from above him. "I suppose I'll take care of that  _that_ , too," she said, waving her hands over Merlin.

Arthur blinked and Merlin was dressed in his regular clothing, as if they had been summoned from his room in Camelot. "Thank you," he muttered.

"Emrys must not forget that he is now in my debt, Prince," Tenaya said.

Arthur acknowledged her bequest with a nod. Wasting no more time, he picked up Merlin with a grunt and exited the dank cave, somehow making his way back to their horses. Running on auto-pilot, Arthur settled the unconscious boy in front of him holding on tight with arms wrapped around the waist, leaving the other horse free to run beside them. He had no right to complain about anything now, not after what Merlin had been through this last week. Amazing, what a hefty dose of perspective could do to someone.

The horses were as eager as Arthur to escape the area, so dense with magic as it was. Arthur kicked them onward, conflicted between commanding a slow pace to avoid their inevitable arrival at Camelot and racing home without a glance backward.

They only stopped when Merlin showed signs of waking, rustling around slightly in Arthur's arms.

"Arthur..." Merlin murmured, voice scratchy. His heart gave a tremendous leap as he registered just who was holding him. A second later reality came crashing down, flooding away the choking joy he'd briefly enjoyed. His body may be back to normal, but what had happened to his relationship with Arthur? His stomach gave an unpleasant flip; Tenaya had been right. Once they reached gates of Camelot, Arthur would have no choice but to report the truth about Merlin to his Father, and then….

The strong arms encircling his waist contracted for a second and then retracted. Merlin frowned, feeling cold. It just noticed that inside the forest it was dark; the sun was setting. He'd slept the day away…

"We'll make camp here," Arthur said, dismounting from the horse. "Alright?"

Merlin nodded and, feeling surreal, dismounted.

" _Forbearnan_ ," Merlin whispered, setting fire to the pile of wood he'd gathered. He sighed quietly. Even the playful dancing of the flames couldn't shake away his nervous anxiety. Arthur had said nothing since they'd dismounted, other than announcing that he was going rabbit hunting for their dinner, and would hopefully be back soon.

Denying the truth in Tenaya's words had been necessary back in the cave; he'd forced them down out of need to activate the correction to his mistake all those days ago. But now that he was male again, those thoughts came rushing back. Arthur, who had always been a lady's man, would surely not return Merlin's affections now that he was back to being male. It was difficult for Merlin's heart to bear; Arthur had of course remained his handsome self throughout Merlin's change, his temporary female form serving only has the catalyst to Merlin's romantic feelings manifesting.

The crashing of boots on leafs signalled Arthur's approach. Their eyes met and Merlin's heart constricted; they would have to talk about this or else Merlin might die. He might never again feel the warmth of Arthur's lips pressed against his own if words weren't said, and that was unacceptable.

Merlin watched in silence as the Prince went about preparing the rabbits for the fire.  _Where to begin…_

"Arthur, I just want to say thank you," Merlin said. "For… for staying with me back in the cave. I don't think I could have done it without you."

Arthur snorted. "Damn right you couldn't have," he said, the ghost of a smirk on his face.

"Don't be a prat," Merlin said, glaring. "I'm serious."

"I know," the other man muttered back. He focused his attention back to their dinner. Merlin was mesmerized for a minute at how the flickering light of the flames made Arthur's hair look like shimmering gold.

Merlin fidgeted restlessly, picking up little twigs, snapping them in pieces, picking at the dirt around him, struggling to breach the sensitive topic of their changed relationship. "Arthur…?"

"Hm?" he grunted.

"Um… how – how did I get my clothes back?"  _Goddamnit, why is this so difficult?!_ He sighed, frustrated with himself.

A flash of relief shined in Arthur's blue eyes. "The sorceress conjured them I guess. I don't really know how that works."

In truth, neither did Merlin. But he would never admit that to Arthur.

In what seemed like no time at all, they had eaten all of the rabbit Arthur had caught and prepared, and were now settling down for the night. Too bad Merlin's mind felt wide awake, restless with the need to confess to Arthur that yes, he was still in love with him, and really, was a male all that different from a female? They would surely be back at Camelot by tomorrow mid-day, and Merlin definitely wanted to have this conversation, however it would go, before their arrival at the fortress.  _So it's now or never_.

Silently, Merlin moved to sit beside Arthur. With trembling hands he moved to cup the other man's cheeks, warm from the heat of the fire. Arthur's eyes were wide, trapped by the intensity of Merlin's gaze.

"Merlin," he murmured, voice deep.

The warlock sighed. He stared into Arthur's eyes, looking for  _something_ , he did not know what. "I don't know if… if I can continue like we were before," he muttered, not breaking their visual connection. "Everything's different."

Arthur's shoulders fell a little bit, some of the tension evaporating. "Yes, it is."

Merlin's heart was lodged in his throat. He blinked rapidly, trying to dry his eyes.  _Stupid!_  He let his hands fall away from Arthur's face. They made it halfway, wrists being caught by rough hands.

Arthur looked down at his own fingers weaving through Merlin's as he spoke. "I know we can't go back to how we were before. I… I care about you too much," he whispered, almost too quietly for Merlin to hear.

"Why – why didn't you say anything before?"  _I waited all day for you, you prat!_ Granted, Merlin had been asleep for most of that day, but still!

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You know how shit I am at discussing my feelings, Merlin. Especially when they concern you."

In disbelief Merlin looked back to the prince, not trusting what he'd heard, heart beating in his throat. "But, I'm – I'm a man. You can't…"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yes yes, you're a man. Don't remind me how much trouble we just went through to get you back to that state." Carefully, he brought Merlin's hand up to his mouth and kissed the pad of each fingertip, sending shooting tingles down the warlock's body, making him shudder and swallow, his throat suddenly dry.

"There are so many repercussions…" Merlin whispered, heart heavy. "But… your Father, and what about your heir? How can you just - "

Arthur's response was a kiss. Merlin whimpered, pressing in close like he was starving for more. He broke away, nose pressed against Merlin's.

"We'll figure it out," the Prince murmured.

The stress of that phrase was lessened slightly by the fact that Arthur had said "we" instead of "I", like was serious about their enhanced relationship and wanted to continue it in Camelot. Merlin kissed a smile onto Arthur's face, a warmth stealing his entire body.  _Hah, take that Tenaya!_

Their kiss grew, Merlin pressing down into Arthur, lowering both of their bodies to the ground. He felt such a  _need_  for the other man. All of the stress of the last week was being converted to sexual energy. He ravaged Arthur's mouth with his, plunging his tongue deep inside, moaning and rutting against him.

Gasping, Arthur tore away, blinking up at Merlin, a rare insecurity showing through his eyes.

"Merlin, I-I've never been with a man before," he said, panting. He had been afraid that Merlin's masculinity would not arouse him but he was surprisingly turned on. When Merlin had appeared female, he'd been attracted and in lust with her. But now that Merlin was back to looking like his normal, dorky self, there was something deeper… He'd never been attracted to men before now, and maybe he still wasn't – he was only attracted to  _Merlin._

"Don't worry, I have some experience there," Merlin said, biting at Arthur's ear lobe. And it was weird, he reflected, that whereas his first sexual experience he had gotten wet with the need to be filled, now he was achingly  _hard_. Still there was the need to have Arthur inside of him, but tied with the need to be buried deep within his Prince. "Oh God I want you," he groaned.

Arthur's cheeks flushed at hearing such raw need in his manservant's voice. "I – I know I'd never say anything corny again, but… I trust you Merlin," Arthur breathed onto Merlin's lips. "I trust you. I did say I wanted to do this again with you. So… you can take me."

"Thank you," Merlin breathed back, appreciating the admission of trust and permission to continue. He'd never before done what he was about to attempt with his prince, but Merlin trust his instincts. And what'd he'd stumbled upon accidentally back in Ealdor (that had been awkward).

Merlin was extremely pleased to feel an erection digging into his thigh, mirroring his own. Arthur had claimed the day before that he'd wanted to have sex again, knowing that following their encounter with the sorceress, Merlin would have regained his manhood. Merlin was determined to make it as good as possible to keep Arthur in his bed for good.

"Let me undress you, sire," Merlin whispered. They sat up off the ground and Merlin worked Arthur's clothes off, as well as his own, leaving them both naked, flushed, excited and breathing hard. Merlin had of course seen Arthur without his shirt a hundred times before, but their situations had rarely ever been reversed. The pale boy's cheeks flushed red as Arthur let his eyes roam over Merlin's exposed skin, letting his hands follow, exploring his manservant's body. Small moans escaped Merlin's throat when rough thumb pads brushed over his nipples. He shivered, goose bumps rising on his skin.

With a glance at the fire, Merlin whispered an incantation, making the flames grow, basking their naked bodies in a warm glow.

Arthur growled and pinned Merlin to the ground, biting a sensitive area on his neck, making him cry out. "Why does that turn me on," Arthur moaned, thinking out loud.

A breathless laugh escaped Merlin. "Me doing magic?" Twitching hands came up to grip at Arthur's hips, his own hips staring to buck up, their erections rubbing together.

"And your dragon speak," he continued, licking up to an ear.

"Aaaah... m-maybe because it's forbidden?"

"Hmm," Arthur moaned in his ear.

And then all talking diminished into incoherent moans, gasps and pleas for "harder" or "faster". Merlin let Arthur completely over-take all of his senses. Merlin let a hand drift down lower to paw at Arthur's erection, closing around its heat. An idea came to him and his mouth watered at the thought. He flipped them, shoving Arthur on his back.

Before the Prince could speak, Merlin had encased his erection in his mouth. His warm, wet,  _oh so fucking good_  mouth. Arthur choked out a moan, covering his burning face with both hands as he nearly fainted with pleasure.

"Oh God, Merlin! This is… its even b-better than last night," he gasped. He resisted the urge to thrust into Merlin's mouth, not wanting to choke the man.

Merlin hummed around the cock in his mouth, relieved that he could give Arthur such powerful pleasure. It was messy, him having never done this before, but to Arthur it couldn't be more perfect. Too soon, Merlin pulled away, impatient to move on. His own erection ached to be inside of Arthur.

"I want… I want to - "

"Yeah, okay," Arthur breathed, still trying to catch his breath. He'd been so close to tipping over the edge when Merlin had stopped, and he restlessly moved his hips on the ground.

Breathing hard, Merlin attempted to collect himself. He almost came just from how Arthur looked – thoroughly debauched, hips twitching, hard cock jutting out from his groin, glistening from his mouth. He brought two fingers up to his mouth and sucked on them, coating them in saliva. Arthur groaned at the sight, and almost came when Merlin whispered a spell to further lubricate his fingers, eyes flashing gold.

"Convenient spell I taught myself," Merlin murmured. He bent down over Arthur, dipping his hand down in between the man's legs. "This'll probably feel a bit strange," he warned.

Arthur nodded, closing his eyes. He winced at the discomfort of Merlin stretching him – a place he never would have thought he'd have someone's  _fingers_ , but it was okay because it was Merlin. Another finger was added and he tried not to tense up, breathing harshly through his nose, hands grabbing at nothing in particular. The burning pain was somewhat diluted when he felt a warm hand encircle his semi-hard cock.

"Just relax, I'm adding a third," Merlin said. He hesitated a second, then pushed a third finger in, fully stretching Arthur.  _So tight…_!

It  _hurt_ , but it also felt… somewhat good? Arthur wasn't sure; there were too many sensations warring with each other. He opened his eyes to look at Merlin, who was hovering over him, face showing concern.

"You okay?"

Not trusting his voice, Arthur nodded. The fingers inside of him pushed a little deeper, moving at a different angle, and white spots burst in Arthur's eyes. He cried out, hips pushing up into Merlin's hand. "Oh God! Do that again!"

Relieved that he was no longer causing the man pain, Merlin tried to mimic his previous movement. Amazingly, he felt Arthur's cock harden in his hand.

"I think you're ready," Merlin said, though it fell on deaf ears.

Arthur gasped when suddenly the fingers were withdrawn, leaving the strangest  _empty_  sensation in his ass. He didn't have any time to recover before he felt something hot start to push into him. He almost laughed hysterically as he recalled that, the night before, their situations had been reversed, except that Merlin had been a  _girl_. He definitely hadn't had to prepare Merlin this much before entering, though he supposed that made sense… His brain effectively shut off when he felt Merlin push into him fully, tried to breathe through the pain,  _oh this is so much worse than just fingers_ , and most of all tried to relax.

"Y-you okay?" Merlin said, voice cracking. His eyelids fluttered shut as he groaned, rolling his hips over Arthur, stomach flipping with pure pleasure. And  _oh_ , he would have to let Arthur try this with him when they were finished.

Arthur nodded, swallowing past his dry throat. "Y-yeah, just – ah, just try to hit that spot again."

Merlin pulled out, then slowly thrust back in at a different angle, each time until at last he saw pure pleasure erupt on Arthur's face, his erection spring back to full life. Arthur wrapped his arms around Merlin's back, drawing him in closer. Merlin gripped at Arthur's thighs, fingernails digging in as he thrust in and out with almost reckless abandon. It felt too damn good to keep in control.

The flames of the fire next to them echoed their passion and climbed higher, growing wild, feeling the pull of pure magic erupting beside them. Arthur gasped as he felt the increased heat radiating from the fire. He opened his eyes and gasped again – Merlin's eyes were so gold they were practically glowing. Arthur moaned and pulled down Merlin's head to kiss this beautiful man.

Just when Arthur thought the fire would consume them, Merlin's hips broke rhythm, his muscles straining, mouth open in a silent scream as he peaked. Arthur came with him and they both collapsed to the ground, boneless. The fire simmered back down, calm in the aftermath.

After a minute they regained the ability to breathe normally. Arthur winced and groaned as Merlin pulled out, only to collapse back on top of him. Arthur poked at the sweaty naked mass of Merlin. "You alright?"

Merlin gave a breathy laugh, sounding and feeling like he was drunk. "M'perfect."

"Well okay then. You almost burned down the whole forest, you know." Arthur nodded to the innocent-looking fire a few feet away.

Merlin rose his heavy head, blinking blearily at the flames. "That would have been an awkward story to tell."

Arthur rose an eyebrow. "Assuming we would have survived, yes."

"Can make a magic bubble around us… You don't know," Merlin murmured sleepily, yawning against Arthur's cheek.

Arthur decided that maybe he really  _didn't_  know, and that was fine, because he very much wanted to learn. The past week had showed him that there were quite a few things he hadn't known about his manservant, and probably still many things he had yet to find out. Returning to Camelot and his Father was going to be a new adventure in itself, but he was glad he had Merlin at his side. He hugged said man closer to himself, not at all minding Arthur chuckled softly to himself, wondering when the hell he had become so sentimental.


End file.
